• @paultimate14
    link
    164 days ago

    In my experience the people who describe themselves as “sex addicts” are people who were caught hurting their loved ones and trying to excuse their behavior, either socially (cheaters) or legally (rapists).

    Somewhat adjacent, I have heard of people claiming “sex addiction” to pressure their partners into more sex than they would otherwise want. Apparently there’s a whole section of feminists who believe that “blue balls” is completely made up by men, because it’s really common for men to claim blue balls is a more serious issue than it is. I’ve had to explain to multiple women in my life that it is both real and just a minor inconvenience.

    You’re not wrong about the religious zealots, I just wanted to bring up that there’s a TON of sex disinformation being spread by different people for different goals. And “sex addiction” is particularly ripe for such disinformation.

    • Synapse
      link
      144 days ago

      About blue balls, it’s not entirely made up. I’ve experienced it myself. Except:

      1. It’s discomfort, not terrible pain. It can last few minutes to a couple hours max
      2. It’s not guaranteed to happen
      3. If it’s use as an excuse to pressure your partner into having sex, then it’s abuse.
      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        64 days ago

        I’m a guy and I have no idea what that is. Does that happen when you don’t have sex for a longer amount of time or what? And couldn’t you just jack off?

        • Synapse
          link
          10
          edit-2
          4 days ago

          It’s testicular discomfort after being sexually exited for a while (with erection) but the act does not take place or you are not able to finish. You absolutely can blue-ball yourself btw.

          Another important note: nothing actually turns blue.

          Edit: further details

          • once you have blue-balls, jacking off won’t help. All you can do it wait.
          • I’ve also experienced blue-balls even though I finished, when things are rushed, either by myself or with a partner.
      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        44 days ago

        Ball-haver here, and agreed. Balls also hurt for a variety of reasons. Sometimes just gently elbowing yourself can lead to a dull ache that leaves you squirming.

        Anecdotally ball pain does not sound nearly as bad as period cramps - and people are expected to go to work with those!