Like, why is it so widespread, what causes it, what solutions are available, etc. I don’t really know how to ask this question so I hope I’m making sense

  • @Zron
    link
    43 days ago

    Met my wife online during the pandemic.

    Dated a fair few women before her, meeting online and in real life.

    I’m not super attractive, and pretty awkward, but I always make the effort to be polite and actually listen instead of waiting to talk, you’d be amazed how far that actually gets you.

    • sunzu2
      link
      fedilink
      33 days ago

      This is an anecdote, also having good social skills was always a clever way to make up for looks.

      Most people have not been properly socialized since childhood. They need to level up but it is one of them things kinda like being poor, you are starting behind and you need to work 2x to get to mid.

      • @Zron
        link
        12 days ago

        If you don’t have good looks, that’s one thing, you can’t really change that.

        But then if you don’t look good and you can’t try to hold a conversation, that’s your problem.

        Learn to speak, it’s not hard. go talk to people and gain some confidence. All this talk about poor socialization or being unattractive and creepy just demoralizes people that I’m sure could actually make friends and meet spouses if they didn’t preemptively pull themselves out of the situation before they gave themselves the chance