I’ve been admittedly struggling with my identity as a whole, especially as I approach my 1 year mark on Estrogen. So far it’s the right call for me, but I’ve discovered that I’m becoming more comfortable with my masculine traits and even find myself binding my breasts that I’ve waited so many years to have, while the next day I’ll do the complete opposite and present femininely.
I feel like I have no consistent sense of self and often have a hard time even knowing what’s going on in my head haha
Constantly trying to figure out if I’m a boy, girl, both, or neither, because I admittedly struggle with my body in various fronts. One day I’m too feminine, the next I look too much like a man, or I’m not androgynous enough.
Frankly, it’s exhausting. I used to think I was just a woman but it doesn’t seem to fit as I continue hrt.
It feels odd to express all of this but, I’ve not really talked to many trans people as I’m chronically shy. Is there anyone who can relate to what I’m going through?
@sh00g I’ll be cutting this into parts since I have to work with mastodon’s word limit
this is also not even including gender expression which also plays a role in these boxes/labels, bec that determines how your precieved usually, so this is quite a cut down summary to try to explain the concept.
5/?
The reason I see a lot of pressure, more often than not from the outside of the LGBTQ+ or Trans community, to fit into certain categories is bec I find cis people often have certain pictures or expectations of how or what a trans person should be; basically I find the reason there’s this pressure is bec cis people are often trying to create boxes to understand being trans in their terms and not trying to understand it from a trans perspective.
4/?
Keep in mind this is me pulling from my experience, I live in Tennessee currently, so people aren’t great about LGBTQ+ issues most of the time.
It appears as if your base assumption is that by being trans one has to reject any binary choice or box/label(a case being transwomen and transmen for example), at least from my perspective and knowledge, by accepting we’re trans we’ve already done that – by accepting we’re trans we have rejected the “biological” binary put upon us from birth. 1/?
So then we go to the next step, where in the trans spectrum do you fit? This is where you start discovering whether your nonbinary, a transwoman, or transman, etc… basically another set of labels or boxes at least socially.
2/?
I saw a mention earlier in one of the responses about how having the box/label “trans” gives us a belonging and a community, and I agree with this. The boxes or labels aren’t always the issue, it’s how and why they got there, and the act of rejecting a box forced upon us and choosing a box that better fits us is an act of freedom.
3/?
if there is any error I made in a concept I’m trying to express or something that wasn’t clear let me know so I can correct or clear it up.