• @deltapi
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    611 hours ago

    You’re right, let me prefix with that.

    It’s not unusual for normies to casually throw out a self deprecating statement when fishing for a complement; eg., “Ugh, I’m such an ugly cow today” - to which the expected response is something like “no babe, you look SOOO good!”

    Personally, I’ve tended to ignore such statements entirely, which has shrunk the number of people who speak to me significantly…and I am just fine with that.

    Do with that information what you will, but I’m also neuro-spicy - so don’t use my behavior as a measuring stick.

    • @idiomaddict
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      611 hours ago

      I’m also autistic and I discovered (accidentally, when I reacted earnestly once) that if you say “I’m sorry you think that, do you want to talk about your self image?,” it ends the conversation without ending the relationship (useful for colleagues or similar).

      • @deltapi
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        39 hours ago

        Oh, I like that a lot.

        • @idiomaddict
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          37 hours ago

          I can’t tell if it’s anti passive-aggression or ultra passive-aggressive, but it works, lol.

    • @pHr34kY
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      210 hours ago

      Haha that explains it so well!

      There have been times my wife would say stuff like that. When I give the wrong response, she’d say “I was fishing for a compliment.”

      At this stage in the conversation, any compliment is received as “forced”. Apparently after directly requesting compliment, it’s impossible to receive a genuine response.