The stress of a divorce and the rising tide of fascism have caused me to seriously regress in self care skills over the past few years. I am currently struggling with eating/“meal planning.” I am intellectually capable of understanding what is necessary to grocery shop/plan out meals, and used to be able to do so, but am struggling with executive dysfunction to the point where I cannot.
For the past two years, my diet has been fast food, chips, beer and candy. I had a few “safe foods” - specific brands of frozen meals that were reliable, but of late they are not working. Eg, I have been lying on the floor for the past five hours feeling absolutely famished, have considered going to the refrigerator and making one of the frozen meals that is usually “safe” - and am utterly incapable of doing so. I don’t think I could even eat it if I made it.
I’m guessing this is autism - I’m guessing I’m autistic - but there has never been any means for me to be evaluated. I have talked to my therapist about this, and have not really found the advice helpful.
The most effective thing has been stocking up on things like lunchables to at least get calories in. Sometimes even lunchables will stop being “safe” though. It gets harder to function when I’m hungry, so I get caught in a loop of lying in bed hungrier and hungrier. I know I can’t live off of gas station pizza and Monster, but there have been days where that’s all I feel capable of eating.
You would probably get some good tips from an ADHD community, though the tips here have been good too.
I think you’re overwhelmed, which is probably obvious but it may help to state it plainly. When I’m overwhelmed, it helps if I give myself permission to just drop everything for a bit. Whatever stuff I think I need to get done isn’t going to get done anyway and stressing about it isn’t helping, so I take a breather. Then I start with just basic self care, however much I can manage. I can’t stand going without a shower so that’s a first. Eating might wait if it’s really bad, but I have some meal replacement shakes for emergencies when I really can’t do anything else. I’ll probably isolate and ignore people for a little bit, but if I do it right I start to feel up to talking before too many days go by. But by dropping everything and then adding it back one thing at a time, I stop feeling so overwhelmed.
The world finds a way to keep on going even as we sit still and catch our breath. Trauma and anxiety just make us feel like we might die if we don’t do the things, even though it’s almost never that dire. We have very intense feelings - and it is important to give yourself space to feel and process them - but they are just temporary feelings and you do not have to believe them.