I am coming down from a migraine, so please forgive me being jumbly, but I have a few points:

You say that many BIFL posts feel like marketing, and I agree, but I also think there’s also an additional, more pernicious aspect to it all. By that, I mean that many of the “genuine” posts felt like they were inducing in me the headspace of having been marketed to. This is largely a me thing, in that when I went searching for recommendations, I was aiming to buy something. Idk, something something commodity fetishism. But in the end, I found that I was questing for some perfect product that would be reliable, but I needed to stop thinking so much in terms of products.

In practice, this meant that my quest towards BIFL would have been better served by not buying stuff at all. Don’t feel obligated to watch if you’re not someone who enjoys 40 minute YouTube videos, but this guy considers “what the hell is ‘high quality’ in fashion?” and many of his points apply more generally than fashion, imo. One of the big points in that video is how the language we use to try to describe high quality will inevitably be appropriated; for example, I bet you would be dubious of any jeans that describe themselves as being “high quality”. So one phrase that became popular a while back was jeans made of “selvedge denim”. However, because people treated “selvedge denim” as being equal to quality, there were a lot of shitty quality jeans made with selvedge denim that I don’t trust that phrase anymore. Maybe once upon a time, selvedge denim jeans were, on average, higher quality, but that’s not true anymore.

I think BIFL was about this quest for quality is doomed to failure. Product quality is generally worse nowadays, but also the language we use is a bit rubbish. Unfortunately, I haven’t found any shortcuts.

Regarding tailoring, unless you’re already proficient at sewing, you should consider finding a local tailor who can do minor alterations. Even this is difficult though, because finding a good tailor can take multiple attempts. People I know who have a good tailor are almost fanatical in their loyalty, likely because of how useful it is to have one. This is why learning to tailor one’s own clothes can be smart, but good quality fabric is super expensive and it may be best to practice on clothes you already own. (N.b. I am using tailoring to mean something different than making clothes from scratch. I can semi do both, so I don’t know how hard it is to learn one skill but not the other)

For finding good fabric though, word of mouth is a big thing. I went to a craft fair a while back and I asked a knitter where she gets her yarn from. She advised a big site that I was already aware of, but also spoke of a place that she buys from when she’s being self indulgent. A friend spent a while trying to find authentic fabric for historical re-enactment, so I asked her where she got stuff like that, and got a few more recommendations. I go for crumbs of recommendations wherever possible, and I really enjoy asking people for advice, even for things I don’t necessarily, because it makes me feel more rooted into a community; when I started crochet recently, I already had a bunch of yarn intel. Also, before then, I really relished having advice if anyone asked me about yarn advice. I kept notes on what people said was good.

But also, if you do get into making and tailoring clothes, a lot of this is knowledge that you’ll gain gradually. I think there is some notion of what “objectively good quality” means, when it comes to textiles and the like, but it’s also fairly loose and subjective. I found this tricky because I too, have nothing to inherit (besides a sturdy ice cream scoop that my mum stole from the military), so I am very familiar with shitty quality stuff. When I first started indulging in higher quality materials and products, it was splendiferous, but it took me a while to learn that I could go too far with chasing value; after a certain point, cost comes down to exclusivity and rarity.

Once I’ve woken up more, I’ll share with you some examples of what looks good quality textile stuff near me, in case you find the perspective useful. I understand why you didn’t want to say roughly where you are, but perhaps if you said your country/state, I could point you towards community resource type things, because there truly is no replacement for getting intel from people local to you, if you value local production. But also, a big strategy for finding local stuff is to consider the concrete material conditions of how things are made: I went to a local fabric shop, and made notes whenever I found things that looked nice. Local shops are also nice, because whilst they are obviously there to sell stuff to you, I feel far more free to ask “I’m looking for some high quality wool to make a coat with, what would you recommend?”. It’s okay to make notes and go away and research (it’s even okay to purchase the wool elsewhere if necessary, though good to support local businesses if you benefit from their knowledge). Some of the fancier bolts of cloth will have a brand on them. This is how I found out about Linton Tweeds, a fabric mill in the North of England that has a lot of history. Another time, I saw a large mill on my way up to Scotland, and I later googled that mill. This is a clunky way of saying that although a heckton of stuff is imported and the products are separated from their context of being made, that there are still crafts people making high quality stuff. It’s often a heckton more expensive (and the more expensive, hand made stuff isn’t necessarily better quality than stuff made with more industrial methods), but it’s nice nonetheless to feel more connected to things. Building up things is gradual, especially if you don’t have much high quality stuff to start with, but don’t be overly precious about things. Ultimately, you don’t need high quality stuff to be able to care about things enough to repair or modify them. Part of how you can undermine fast fashion is by making the most of the lower quality products you currently have now.