I am feeling that hard right now. Since we’ve had kids, I’ve worked hard to stay on top of everything and keeping mental loads off my partner for 4 years now and it is blowing up in my face right now.
Rant time.
My oldest was sick a lot this week so we kept her at home. My GF told me we’ll split the babysitting.
What really happened is me taking all the babysitting duty until nap time. When we go out at restaurants with family, my GF always joke that she doesn’t even remember that we have a second kid since he’s well behaved. Well yeah he is well behaved because I take care of both kids while she socialize. Otherwise we have two kids that can’t stay in place (normal for kids).
Other than the daily chores, nothing else ever get done if I don’t do it.
Taking the trash out? Me. Repairing the drawer that broke? Me. Doing the taxes? It will go months overdue if I don’t do it.
I was so afraid of me dumping all the mental load on her that now I am stuck doing everything that isn’t daily chores. I am trying to communicate that to her, but it’s not working, so I am trying to find other ways so that I can get heard without having to get mad to do so.
It’s been 4 years now, with two kids and I feel the toll it takes each day more and more.
I am trying to change things around by communicating and setting expectations, but how many times do I need to communicate the same things and set the sames expectations for them to be recognized without having to explicitly state them? When the same situation happens over and over, I shouldn’t have to communicate and set expectations after 4 years of doing the same thing.
Not sure what I trying to convey here.
I am trying to not be what the society is telling me I should be as a father, so I end up doing everything, and getting pushback when I am telling people that I am toasted and I need a break.
There is more to the circumstances and it’s the worst of winter right now, so seasonal depression weight a lot right now. I feel like I am making it worst than it really is, but this is how I feel at the moment.
No man I get it. I’m in a similar boat, minus the keeping kids and letting the spouse socialize. It’s important to know that resentment can be a normal feeling, but communication is key to making sure your concerns are heard.
As one Dad to another, just keep going. Do it for the kids not for yourself. One day they will be out of the house, and you are gonna look back knowing you did the best you could.
The worst part is now with the second one where he understands what we say, but doesn’t care and tries to kill himself creatively with everything he finds. The constant surveillance is draining me. It was the same with the first one.
We’re almost over the bump, the sun is coming back so better days are ahead, but in the moment, right now, I feel stuck and drained and my family life isn’t fun.
I know it will come to pass, but I’d punch a hole in the universe right now if I could
I am feeling that hard right now. Since we’ve had kids, I’ve worked hard to stay on top of everything and keeping mental loads off my partner for 4 years now and it is blowing up in my face right now.
Rant time.
My oldest was sick a lot this week so we kept her at home. My GF told me we’ll split the babysitting.
What really happened is me taking all the babysitting duty until nap time. When we go out at restaurants with family, my GF always joke that she doesn’t even remember that we have a second kid since he’s well behaved. Well yeah he is well behaved because I take care of both kids while she socialize. Otherwise we have two kids that can’t stay in place (normal for kids).
Other than the daily chores, nothing else ever get done if I don’t do it.
Taking the trash out? Me. Repairing the drawer that broke? Me. Doing the taxes? It will go months overdue if I don’t do it.
I was so afraid of me dumping all the mental load on her that now I am stuck doing everything that isn’t daily chores. I am trying to communicate that to her, but it’s not working, so I am trying to find other ways so that I can get heard without having to get mad to do so.
It’s been 4 years now, with two kids and I feel the toll it takes each day more and more.
I am trying to change things around by communicating and setting expectations, but how many times do I need to communicate the same things and set the sames expectations for them to be recognized without having to explicitly state them? When the same situation happens over and over, I shouldn’t have to communicate and set expectations after 4 years of doing the same thing.
Not sure what I trying to convey here.
I am trying to not be what the society is telling me I should be as a father, so I end up doing everything, and getting pushback when I am telling people that I am toasted and I need a break.
There is more to the circumstances and it’s the worst of winter right now, so seasonal depression weight a lot right now. I feel like I am making it worst than it really is, but this is how I feel at the moment.
Rant over. Thanks for reading
No man I get it. I’m in a similar boat, minus the keeping kids and letting the spouse socialize. It’s important to know that resentment can be a normal feeling, but communication is key to making sure your concerns are heard.
As one Dad to another, just keep going. Do it for the kids not for yourself. One day they will be out of the house, and you are gonna look back knowing you did the best you could.
The worst part is now with the second one where he understands what we say, but doesn’t care and tries to kill himself creatively with everything he finds. The constant surveillance is draining me. It was the same with the first one.
We’re almost over the bump, the sun is coming back so better days are ahead, but in the moment, right now, I feel stuck and drained and my family life isn’t fun.
I know it will come to pass, but I’d punch a hole in the universe right now if I could