I’m from Australia.

Some spiders are absolutely bros.

Others seem to exist only to fuck you up.

Once you know the difference you’re fine, but I don’t blanket assume that every spider I find is a friend.

Spiders are usually Bros, but sometimes they’re assholes.

Had one in the bathroom, whilst I was showering. What did he do with all the hot steamy air? Why, crawl towards it of course. Never mind the frequent misteps that threatened to drop him on the floor because, oh I dont know, the ceiling is wet - no - crawling precariously to the danger is the most reasonable response…

Later that day, I’m just chilling on the toilet with my phone, and he wants to drop by to say hello. How does he do it? Hang down slowly and land in front of me? Lower himself onto the toilet cistern so as not to disturb me?

Hell no! Fucker decides to lower himself next to my ear and tickle it, so that I immediately respond with a hand slap that sends him into pieces.

I miss him in a weird way, but he was a real asshole.

Spiders are always welcome in my garden. They come with free pest control.