I was violently sexually assaulted in college in an attack that left me so damaged that I had multiple surgeries (which didn’t help much) and no longer date. Multiple failed suicide attempts later, including a long stay in a hospital after my last major unsuccessful overdose attempt, I ended up getting SSI disability for bipolar disorder since depression has made it hard for me to work.

I heard about something called Expedited Reinstatement to allow people to return to SSI quickly if they tried out working and need to go back without a lot of paperwork or hassles. A job counselor at the county mental health agency told me about it. It’s meant to encourage disabled people to try working. As a result of hearing about this program and feeling a bit better, I applied for jobs and was able to work, despite being depressed at times. I wanted to try working and being a normal functioning member of society, despite being broken.

This webpage talks about this program: https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-expedite-ussi.htm

Public service announcement: if you are on SSI, I highly recommend to NEVER try working because they are not honest about this program and can deny you later on obscure technical grounds not published on the website. The conventional wisdom among people on SSI and SSDI is to never try working out of fear of losing benefits, and that conventional wisdom is right.

The program is supposed to allow 60 months in which a person can go back to being on SSI or SSDI quickly, without a lot of paperwork or needing to reapply, and payment start right away. People can still lose benefits 6 months later if found to be not disabled.

After 4 years of working, my former roommate at the hospital ended up killing someone (and he had threatened to kill me while I was there). I also lost my best friend who died, and I’ve been extraordinarily depressed as well as having flashbacks from the horrible stay in the hospital, which was a terrifying experience and damaged my already broken brain and trust in people in new, unexpected, and permanent ways.

I am extremely unhappy, poor, and expect life to only get worse. I can’t afford anything, including medical treatment, because my income disqualified me from low income programs and my income was garnished by the government due to my stay in the hospital (and the garnishment isn’t factored into low-income program eligibility). I am poor and can’t really afford medical proof that things aren’t going well. Since it’s less than 60 months, and this website says you can apply for Expedited Reinstatement “within five years from the month your benefits stopped,” I applied. I am out on leave at work and don’t expect to return and have no savings as a result of the garnishment, which took my wages below minimum wage levels.

When I applied, I was told at first I am ineligible for EXR because it’s only for those who were on SSDI and not SSI. (There’s nothing in the Federal Code of Regulations 416.999 about that and it’s false.) I was also told by SSA representatives that EXR didn’t exist. Finally, after complaining enough, I spoke with Marina, the technical expert from SSA who works in a San Francisco office.

I was told by Marina, the cruel SSI technical expert in San Francisco, that because when I started working my bank account went over the maximum amount of 2,000 (which it did literally because I started working) I am ineligible since my Social Security didn’t stop because of working, but rather because my account balance was too high. She said that when they ended my disability payments for this reason of my bank account balance being too high instead of getting too many deposits from work that if had wanted EXR, I should have immediately appealed, as though ANY person would understand their obscure technical agency rules that aren’t published clearly on the website or in the Federal Code of Regulations could preclude EXR and the impact of such a determination.

There’s nothing on the website about this EXR rule, nothing in the Federal Code of Regulations 416.999 about this, but she said because this determination was mailed to me, I should have known it precluded EXR and should have appealed immediately, as though everyone who gets such a decision should have extreme technical knowledge about SSA agency rules that aren’t easily available to the public.

Marina told me to try reapplying not under EXR, which means waiting half a year without income and dealing with a huge amount of paperwork and uncertainty, including the fact I don’t have enough money for many medical treatment or to even prove what is going on. And, after this agony, I could still be denied, so not only am I dealing with huge amounts of depression, but in order to get SSI I have to go without income and hope that I perhaps get it nearly half a year from now.

So, this is just a warning to anyone on SSI or SSDI encouraged to work by the government or a career counselor: don’t do it. They don’t honor their promises or if they do, their promise has a caveat and that caveat is only clarified within agency rules that they will never show or discuss with you when promoting this program. I’m now dealing with having to think about what it would be like to live outside in a tent because I tried to work and believed the government. Make sure others don’t make the same mistake and discourage anyone on SSI or SSDI from believing the lie about EXR.