What else would happen in Heck?

  • Captain Aggravated
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    189 hours ago

    The first circle of heck is for people who listen to media in public without headphones. They shall walk through life with lots of AV media available to them, but the soundtrack never matches the video.

    The second circle of heck is for the people who take up two parking spaces. They are damned to a place where they all have shittier cars than everyone else forever.

    The third circle of heck is for people who pull fire alarms as pranks. They may live their lives as normal, except sometimes a loud noise will happen and they will be taken outside the building and drowned with a fire hose for awhile. Forever.

    The fourth circle of heck is for programmers who don’t document their code. They will be stranded in a country whose language they have no way of learning.

    The fifth circle of heck is for Toyota engineers. For the sin of putting the oil filter directly underneath the exhaust manifold, they shall have the skin of the back of their hands blowtorched off a few times a day, every day.

    The sixth circle of heck is for the people who just can’t get out of the way at the grocery store. All of the delicious food they could ever want is buried 5 miles deep, and they are equipped with oven mitts on their hands for digging.

    The seventh circle of heck is for people who modify their cars to have loud exhausts, get a dog that barks at all hours of the day, etc. They live normal lives, but they can hear the Sun.

    • Captain Aggravated
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      59 hours ago

      Also, I’m reminded of Billy Joel’s “Blonde Over Blue”

      In hell there’s a big hotel

      where the bar just closed and the windows never open

      no phone so you can’t call home

      And the TV works, but the clicker is broken