Hi there. Hope you don’t mind an interruption to the memes for a message from the heart.
I’m the default player character in America: middle-aged, white, cis, hetero dude. I’ve always been on the left side of the American political spectrum, and have tried my best to lead a life of openness, kindness, acceptance, and respect for all ways of life.
Throughout high school and college, I knew a fair number of non-hetero people, and was delighted as the fight for gay rights and acceptance finally swung in their direction (at a national level, in America, at least – I’m not pretending the work is done or things are perfect). I’ll admit I didn’t know or hadn’t thought much about trans people or other parts of the TQ+ parts of the human experience until the last five years ago as they became more visible to us boring people.
How did that happen? Things like pronouns in bios and email signatures. Seeing visible trans people in media and politics. Wondering what that blue and pink flag meant. And even sitting on the sidelines of silly meme communities that seem to have a strong representation of people who live different lives than I do.
All of these little things had a real impact, for me at least. I’ve now had the pleasure of working with at least 4 trans people over the past 5 years, and one of my friends came out recently as non-binary. It makes me so happy to see people living their lives as their true selves.
I say all of this because our current political reality sucks. And what I say here isn’t going to negate the real harm and fear that many people will face. But I want you all to know, no matter what the people in charge say and do: I see you, I love you, and no one can take that away from me or from you. I am not going back to a world where you don’t exist.
The past two companies I’ve worked for have had DEI committees that were started by low-level employees, not by some weird political government mandate. They included a mix of people who might be considered “diverse” as well as many “regular” people like me. These efforts were broadly supported by majorities of the company. People want DEI.
The government can ban DEI efforts within the government itself, it can bully spineless tech companies to do the same, but it can’t remove this thirst for inclusion from my heart or anyone else’s. It can and will try to deny you healthcare, deny you opportunity, make you invisible, rewind progress. But progress is hard to take out of people’s hearts and minds and put back in a box. In 4 years (hopefully), we’ll have someone else in charge, and I am going to be right here, ready to pick up where things left off.
And in the meantime, I got your back, as much as I can. I’m one person and I can’t change or control a lot. But I can and will stand up for the people in my life, where I work and live. And I am not alone. You have allies out there.
That’s all I wanted to say. You’re welcome to share this with anyone who needs it. Keep being yourselves out there. Keep the memes coming. We’ll get through this.
You’re right of course. I could have phrased that better. To be honest though, I feel pretty helpless in terms of enacting meaningful change against a fascist regime. I intend to stand up against hate and intolerance wherever I can, and focus on my own spheres of influence. And I’d love to hear ideas on what more I can do. But at the moment I don’t have a plan on how to make it all ok.
You could start by not centring yourself and making a post about what a good ally you think you are and instead make one centring the people you say you’re here to support (“I love you, solidarity” done), one simply asking how you can help, or even better, be a good ally and invest your own time, energy, and emotional labour in searching out and consuming some of the hundreds if not thousands of articles/videos/podcasts/blogs/communities that already exist out there on the subject.
You might feel helpless, but you have significantly more privilege than most people here, use it.
Don’t say.
Do.
I’m gonna try. I’m still figuring out what that looks like, and how to respond to all the insanity that’s happening in the US. Step one (and the easiest thing for me to do) is to write things like this and try to let people know I’m with them. I agree, it can’t stop there, but it’s a start.
Step one is listening and being willing to deal with the discomfort that might come with that. Not being the easiest thing for you to do is for you to resolve with yourself. But step one will always be to set your ego aside and listen.
That’s for you to prove, the fight rages on with or without you.