What else would happen in Heck?

  • @Shapillon
    link
    13 hours ago

    Here we go again.

    All video content is in a language you don’t fully understand and with slightly unsynched subtitles.

    People always mispronounce your name.

    All interior floors and walls are covered in dirty carpeting with burn marks.

    Chairs creak when you move.

    Ingrown nails.

    Light psoriasis.

    Windows Vista is the only available operating system. Phones use the regular UI. Computers are locked using the Windows 8.0 UI.

    All touchscreens function as if you were using thin gloves.

    Keyboards have a 10% chance to repeat or ignore the last character you typed.

    Computers crash whenever you’re progressing writing an essay.

    Randomly organized huge everything stores.

    Frequent houseflies that walk all over you.

    You have to make phonecalls. The sound randomly interrupts and a few times when you try to repeat.

    All pens are cheap ballpoints with ink issues.

    Tinnitus.

    Dead pixels on screens.

    Conv calls always have someone with speakers and a malfunctioning microphone that lets you hear a garbled version of what you just said with a one second delay.

    Code documentation was never invented. Your job is to pay technical debt on random projects.

    An annoying relative is narrating your life.

    Stereo sound fluctuates in intensity between both sides.

    Slightly stale American bread is the only kind available.

    • @Shapillon
      link
      12 hours ago

      Some more?

      When showering the water temperature fluctuates while never being unbearable. Shared old bar soap.

      Nails grow a centimeter a day.

      Shared kitchen with teenagers.

      Raspy toilet paper. No bidets. American doors.

      Towels are magically constantly damp.

      Random unexplainable crunch in food.

      All stairs have an irregular awkward step.

      People always answer half your questions.

      Nonsensical infrastructure works that do nothing and constantly perturb road and foot traffic.

      Neverending dry mouth.

      Every charging cord is a bit old and randomly disconnects. You then have to fiddle with it for it to work again.

      Shoelaces have very low friction.

      Achy joints.

      Payments work with a set of three debit cards. There is only one that works at a given time. Nobody remembers their pin. You have to get it on a buggy app.

      Random bouts of akathisia (uncontrollable muscular restlessness) in the evening.

      USB-A sockets are now star shapped with 18 possible orientations.

      Internet uses old modems. Someone frequently uses the landline without notification.