I wanted to share a personal experience I’ve had with my roommate and close friend, to see if anyone else has been through something similar or has advice on how to handle this situation.
It all started in 2023, when I entered college. My friend (let’s call him “Alex”) and I became roommates from freshman year. Alex is bisexual, although I didn’t know that at the time. We got along really well from the start, and living together was pretty normal. Back then, I had a girlfriend, and Alex always gave us space when we needed privacy in the room.
My girlfriend and I broke up. After that, the dynamic between Alex and I changed. We spent a lot of time together in the room, and over time we became more comfortable with our intimacy. There were a couple of times when we caught each other masturbating, but instead of it being awkward, we talked about it and normalized it. By the end of 2023, we were already so comfortable that we could stand in our underwear in front of each other and even change clothes without any problems.
In 2024, things took a more intense turn. One night, after a tiring day of studying, we decided to smoke weed. It was my first time doing it, although Alex was already experienced. We were watching an episode of Game of Thrones when suddenly, we ended up watching porn together. We started masturbating at the same time, and at one point, Alex touched me and I touched him. He ended up masturbating me until I came. The next day, we talked about it and we both agreed that it wasn’t awkward, although it was a little weird.
After that, we started watching porn together more often, but without touching each other. However, our senior year of college, we decided to become roommates again. During that year, the dynamic intensified. We started masturbating each other from time to time, and while it was sporadic at first, it eventually became more frequent.
After graduating, we decided to continue living together to save on rent. That year, Alex confessed to me that he was bisexual, although he clarified that he was not attracted to me. At the time, I felt a little rejected, I don’t know why, but we talked about it and got over it.
We decided to do adult content together again, but this time more explicit. We recorded videos of each other masturbating, and on one occasion, Alex gave me a blowjob. While I enjoyed the experience, I still don’t consider myself gay or bisexual. I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction towards men in general, or Alex in particular. He’s also made it clear that he’s not attracted to me, and we’ve both set clear boundaries in our relationship.
Now, in 2025, we still live together and occasionally make content together, but always respecting our boundaries. However, Alex recently made me a proposition that has me thinking. He told me that we could do anal penetration content, and that he’d be willing to have me fuck him. For me, that’s already a boundary I’m not sure I want to cross. While I enjoy the dynamic we have, I feel like this could change things between us.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you guys handle the line between friendship and physical intimacy? Do you think crossing this boundary could affect our friendship in the long run? I appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks for reading.
My dude I have seen you post this in several communities and in the most gentle way I can think of: straight guys dont spend this much time thinking about whether or not they want to get involved with another man; they reject the idea outright and dont entertain it again.
Labels are a stupid, meaningless thing meant to sow division. You aren’t a thing; you just are, and you’re deserving of love just for being alive.
If you want to date this guy then date him. You can always find someone else later and you might even enjoy it. Maybe this can be a safe way for you to explore this part of yourself.
If you don’t want to date him, then do not. But I suspect homie has a thing for you and it would be better not to string him along.
Fuck whoever you want to fuck (consentually). Just be sure that you communicate your needs and what you’re feeling with your partner and follow your heart. You’ll be fine in the end.
ETA: not every guy is into anal. If you want to keep it to oral or hands only that’s also 100% valid. I used “fuck” above as a broad category, not a specific act.
Thank you for taking the time to write all this, and I understand your point, but I think you’re projecting a bit. Me posting or reflecting on this doesn’t mean I’m confused or not straight. Straight men can question things too without it changing their orientation.
Regarding labels, I agree that they don’t define who I am, but I don’t completely dismiss them either. For some people they’re useful, and for others they’re not, and both are fine.
As for dating him or not, it’s not something I’m seriously considering. Yes, I experimented and I liked it, but that doesn’t have to turn into a relationship or anything deeper. Like I said before, a mouth is a mouth, and I don’t give it any more thought. If I continue with this, it’s more for the practical aspect than anything else.
We’re very close friends, almost like brothers. In fact, I don’t get along with my family, and he’s been like a brother to me. What we do together, sexually, is more for the money we make from selling the videos. It’s not something that stems from romantic or sexual attraction on my part.
I think about it a lot because he’s bi, and I know he genuinely likes getting fucked in the ass. I worry that he might develop feelings beyond friendship, and that will ruin what we have. Our friendship is important to me, and I don’t want to lose it over something that, to me, is more transactional than anything else.