I wanted to share a personal experience I’ve had with my roommate and close friend, to see if anyone else has been through something similar or has advice on how to handle this situation.
It all started in 2023, when I entered college. My friend (let’s call him “Alex”) and I became roommates from freshman year. Alex is bisexual, although I didn’t know that at the time. We got along really well from the start, and living together was pretty normal. Back then, I had a girlfriend, and Alex always gave us space when we needed privacy in the room.
My girlfriend and I broke up. After that, the dynamic between Alex and I changed. We spent a lot of time together in the room, and over time we became more comfortable with our intimacy. There were a couple of times when we caught each other masturbating, but instead of it being awkward, we talked about it and normalized it. By the end of 2023, we were already so comfortable that we could stand in our underwear in front of each other and even change clothes without any problems.
In 2024, things took a more intense turn. One night, after a tiring day of studying, we decided to smoke weed. It was my first time doing it, although Alex was already experienced. We were watching an episode of Game of Thrones when suddenly, we ended up watching porn together. We started masturbating at the same time, and at one point, Alex touched me and I touched him. He ended up masturbating me until I came. The next day, we talked about it and we both agreed that it wasn’t awkward, although it was a little weird.
After that, we started watching porn together more often, but without touching each other. However, our senior year of college, we decided to become roommates again. During that year, the dynamic intensified. We started masturbating each other from time to time, and while it was sporadic at first, it eventually became more frequent.
After graduating, we decided to continue living together to save on rent. That year, Alex confessed to me that he was bisexual, although he clarified that he was not attracted to me. At the time, I felt a little rejected, I don’t know why, but we talked about it and got over it.
We decided to do adult content together again, but this time more explicit. We recorded videos of each other masturbating, and on one occasion, Alex gave me a blowjob. While I enjoyed the experience, I still don’t consider myself gay or bisexual. I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction towards men in general, or Alex in particular. He’s also made it clear that he’s not attracted to me, and we’ve both set clear boundaries in our relationship.
Now, in 2025, we still live together and occasionally make content together, but always respecting our boundaries. However, Alex recently made me a proposition that has me thinking. He told me that we could do anal penetration content, and that he’d be willing to have me fuck him. For me, that’s already a boundary I’m not sure I want to cross. While I enjoy the dynamic we have, I feel like this could change things between us.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you guys handle the line between friendship and physical intimacy? Do you think crossing this boundary could affect our friendship in the long run? I appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks for reading.
Truly sounds like a literal friends with benefits scenario. As long as expectations are communicated and agreed upon I don’t see a problem at all.
friends with benefits? we only do it 1 or 2 times a week to record videos, it’s not something we do in private without recording when we’re horny to satisfy our needs, i must say that when we do it, we both give our best in the act and we both enjoy it, we talk about it and our rule is that if we’re going to do it we both have to have a good time. but the idea of fucking his ass seems too much to me, i’ve never fucked an ass, it was always pussies and that seems something more intimate to me. i was talking to him and i brought all this up, he told me that he enjoys everything he does to me as if it were casual sex and that that didn’t change his feelings towards me and anal sex shouldn’t change them. i realized that we have a similar persoective, i enjoy him jerking me off and sucking my cock and the fact that i like him didn’t change my feelings of friendship for him. He told me that he understands me because I’m straight and he proposed the idea of having intercrural sex first and then if I feel comfortable doing it through the ass. What do you think?
Honestly? As a 55 yr old gay man it comes across as kind of insulting that so much emphasis is put on our sex acts and what crosses lines of intimacy and such. I’m exhausted from decades of being viewed as other or not normal or wrong just for being me. I’m personally not that into anal either way - giving or receiving. I’m much more about mutual satisfaction, particularly oral. Anal is just another choice at the buffet. The fact that people stress so much about the particulars of gay sex keeps us alienated and fetishized in a negative shameful way.
Well, it affects me because it’s at my work and on my roommate, lol.