Insecure men, annoying and dangerous, usually very sexist and overall disrespectful as well.
I mean I don’t know him must have had some redeeming qualities once. Or not. Infatuation is just such a powerful drug that we literally don’t see bad sides in people we fall for.
I can feel your frustration about that, because you had a good reason and there was no reasoning with him. So how do you reason with someone unreasonable? We don’t, unfortunately.
It may have been brewing a long time and this just broke the camel’s back who knows.
So it doesn’t seem that weird to me, because I’ve only heard this bit.
Okay reading on maybe some of those things should’ve been the trigger for leaving, but hindsight is always 2020. I can try imagining being in an abusive relationship, but my imagination isn’t perfect. I’ve seen enough drama to know how hard it can be though. Or at least enough to imagine I can understand.
Yeah I haven’t had a long term relationship in a long time, basically just one multiyear long one, then some months long ones and lots of casual nights. My first long term relationship and then I found out my then best friend (who had been my best friend since birth) and girlfriend had had sex and that she had been fucking around quite a lot and it just kinda broke it.
I’ve had infatuations a few times after that, but the previous one was like 10 years ago. So I don’t much hold hope either, but I do still have hope that my life situation will change and I’ll manage to fall for someone who falls for me as well. I would sort of like to have children but I don’t want to be too old to play with them. But I always delude myself I’ll make it big and become a celebrity and then have kids at 70, idk.
Yeah Ambien can be weird yeah. One should take them when one actually goes to bed, I think, but I often end up taking half and then waiting for it to come on a bit because I’m won’t go to bed otherwise. But then sometimes, you’ll take the next one and still “oh, I’ll just finish this episode real quick” and before you know it you’ve done 4 and you’re not really sleepy anymore.
Lots of drug effects rely on a biological biphasic response, meaning that a small dose of a substance might make you sleepy whereas a lot will perk you up. Whereas things like alcohol and cannabis, they first perk you up and give energy, but if you do a big dose, you’ll get sedated.
But yeah it’s the only actually functioning sleep med for me and I’ve tried a ton of different meds. Well, not the only functioning one, but the only functioning one which doesn’t debilitate me for 48 hours or make my mouth taste like cat piss for the next day. Anytime I end up taking a few too many I start planning on cleaning and doing all sorts of shit. Which isn’t that good at like 5-6am in an apartment building.
My friend decoupaged her dishwasher with subway maps on Ambien one night.
But like… on the outside, right? (I only ask because I know the spirit of the substance, lol.)
On the outside yes haha. I think she stopped taking it after that. And it’s the only one that works for me either. It’s just so weird!
He had redeeming qualities but he is always a manipulator and liar under it all. I really should have left long ago. He seems different than typical douchy men in that he’s progressive at least as a front, but he’s said some racist shit to me in private when in a rage that speaks the truth to who he is, despite liking black history, etc. I keep thinking about his mother lately who I haven’t seen in over 20 years, and the weird things she would do to pit her kids against each other, and dismay people by giving them gifts of literal trash. You know when people ask what the worst Christmas gift you ever got was? She would give me her very used bathrobe and other things that would be literally garbage to anyone else, that she had picked up off the ground, simply so people would be disturbed and provoked by her. She wore mosquito netting to her daughter’s outdoor wedding because West Nile was an issue that year, and is smirking in all the pictures under it. My therapist calls this malignant narcissism, and while he doesn’t give gifts of trash, instead he’ll buy me something that’s really unique and thoughtful, but if you understand the subtext it really all belongs to him, and it’s so he can post pictures on Instagram to display his fine taste in things. If I moved out and tried to take those things with me, it would quickly become clear who they really belong to. I basically own my clothes, books, and toiletries, and everything else is his. It’s partly why I can’t move out.
I wish I had had children. But not with him. I would have liked to foster kids, I would be very good at that. I hold babies and kids at church all the time and will babysit their kids, and it’s so much fun for me. I wish I had taken a different pathway. I grew up with a BPD mom, who is really dangerous and vicious and manipulative, and my therapist says when you’ve been traumatized by a parent like that, someone who is similar will seek you out and try and make it seem like they’ve rescued you.
I’m just sorry it all turned out this way. The rest of my life is reasonably happy if quiet, but this is a huge thing.
Sounds like he didn’t respect women much.
Insecure men, annoying and dangerous, usually very sexist and overall disrespectful as well.
I mean I don’t know him must have had some redeeming qualities once. Or not. Infatuation is just such a powerful drug that we literally don’t see bad sides in people we fall for.
I can feel your frustration about that, because you had a good reason and there was no reasoning with him. So how do you reason with someone unreasonable? We don’t, unfortunately.
It may have been brewing a long time and this just broke the camel’s back who knows.
So it doesn’t seem that weird to me, because I’ve only heard this bit.
Okay reading on maybe some of those things should’ve been the trigger for leaving, but hindsight is always 2020. I can try imagining being in an abusive relationship, but my imagination isn’t perfect. I’ve seen enough drama to know how hard it can be though. Or at least enough to imagine I can understand.
Yeah I haven’t had a long term relationship in a long time, basically just one multiyear long one, then some months long ones and lots of casual nights. My first long term relationship and then I found out my then best friend (who had been my best friend since birth) and girlfriend had had sex and that she had been fucking around quite a lot and it just kinda broke it.
I’ve had infatuations a few times after that, but the previous one was like 10 years ago. So I don’t much hold hope either, but I do still have hope that my life situation will change and I’ll manage to fall for someone who falls for me as well. I would sort of like to have children but I don’t want to be too old to play with them. But I always delude myself I’ll make it big and become a celebrity and then have kids at 70, idk.
Yeah Ambien can be weird yeah. One should take them when one actually goes to bed, I think, but I often end up taking half and then waiting for it to come on a bit because I’m won’t go to bed otherwise. But then sometimes, you’ll take the next one and still “oh, I’ll just finish this episode real quick” and before you know it you’ve done 4 and you’re not really sleepy anymore.
Lots of drug effects rely on a biological biphasic response, meaning that a small dose of a substance might make you sleepy whereas a lot will perk you up. Whereas things like alcohol and cannabis, they first perk you up and give energy, but if you do a big dose, you’ll get sedated.
But yeah it’s the only actually functioning sleep med for me and I’ve tried a ton of different meds. Well, not the only functioning one, but the only functioning one which doesn’t debilitate me for 48 hours or make my mouth taste like cat piss for the next day. Anytime I end up taking a few too many I start planning on cleaning and doing all sorts of shit. Which isn’t that good at like 5-6am in an apartment building.
But like… on the outside, right? (I only ask because I know the spirit of the substance, lol.)
Can definitely make you do weird shit, as this story featuring Channing Tatum shows
On the outside yes haha. I think she stopped taking it after that. And it’s the only one that works for me either. It’s just so weird!
He had redeeming qualities but he is always a manipulator and liar under it all. I really should have left long ago. He seems different than typical douchy men in that he’s progressive at least as a front, but he’s said some racist shit to me in private when in a rage that speaks the truth to who he is, despite liking black history, etc. I keep thinking about his mother lately who I haven’t seen in over 20 years, and the weird things she would do to pit her kids against each other, and dismay people by giving them gifts of literal trash. You know when people ask what the worst Christmas gift you ever got was? She would give me her very used bathrobe and other things that would be literally garbage to anyone else, that she had picked up off the ground, simply so people would be disturbed and provoked by her. She wore mosquito netting to her daughter’s outdoor wedding because West Nile was an issue that year, and is smirking in all the pictures under it. My therapist calls this malignant narcissism, and while he doesn’t give gifts of trash, instead he’ll buy me something that’s really unique and thoughtful, but if you understand the subtext it really all belongs to him, and it’s so he can post pictures on Instagram to display his fine taste in things. If I moved out and tried to take those things with me, it would quickly become clear who they really belong to. I basically own my clothes, books, and toiletries, and everything else is his. It’s partly why I can’t move out.
I wish I had had children. But not with him. I would have liked to foster kids, I would be very good at that. I hold babies and kids at church all the time and will babysit their kids, and it’s so much fun for me. I wish I had taken a different pathway. I grew up with a BPD mom, who is really dangerous and vicious and manipulative, and my therapist says when you’ve been traumatized by a parent like that, someone who is similar will seek you out and try and make it seem like they’ve rescued you.
I’m just sorry it all turned out this way. The rest of my life is reasonably happy if quiet, but this is a huge thing.