I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).

I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.

When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.

Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.

One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.

  • @Grimy
    7•3 days ago

    It seems obvious you know your behavior sucks. You can either make an effort, which most people actually do, or you can pretend you don’t understand and use it as an excuse.

    Eventually they won’t be there for you. Why would they when you can’t even be polite or watch their stupid little half a minute videos.

    Relationships take effort. It’s easy to notice when the effort is only one sided and it’s very hard to come back from it once it’s clear. Minimum effort or less doesn’t make for good friendships.

      • @[email protected]
        7•3 days ago

        Then you’re a bad friend because of your depression. It’s unfortunate and not something you should feel even more bad/depressed about, but it’s simply true.

        If they’re good friends they will understand if you just tell them the truth. Instead of saying “No” you can just say, “sorry, I’m really depressed, I can’t do this”. It’s a bit longer to write/say, but at least you’re communicating honestly.

        If you want to be a good friend and actually be friends with these specific people, you got to work on your depression somehow, if it is truly what is causing this behavior.

          • @[email protected]
            2•2 days ago

            I’m glad :) I hope you can get to a better place with your depression. I’ve been through it, I know how much it sucks. If you need more advice/explanations/help, don’t hesitate to ask.

            Many people in here treated you very unfairly, because you did sound very much like you’re saying “I’m incredibly amazing and can do nothing wrong”, and some people assume that such a person could never do something different and they absolutely hate that.

            A healthy confidence is incredibly important, but so is knowing that you’re not perfect either. I’m very proud that it seems like you can do both :)