I like to believe that everyone has a part of their brain reserved exclusively for “stupid.” But maybe that’s just me.

Case in point: I hate opera. Specifically, I hate hearing soprano opera singers who hit notes so high, they wish I was deaf. It’s shrill, it’s grating, and it makes my ears file a restraining order.

But then, a few days ago, I stumbled upon a soprano opera singer who was rapping. That’s right—doing full-blown hip-hop in her best “singing-to-summon-spirits” voice. As in, to the hip, hip-hop, and you don’t stop the rockin’… but operatic.

And instead of shutting off that unholy fusion of sound and sin, my brain went: 😍🥵

I don’t know why. Something about it awakened a deep, primal urge in me. I was ready to pledge my undying loyalty, buy all her merch, and start an aggressive online campaign defending her against imaginary haters.

Like, goddamn. What’s wrong with me? Why do I suddenly want to start a shrine to a rapping opera diva?

It makes no sense. I am a rational man. Or at least I was a rational man, until that opera rapper opened her mouth and obliterated all logic and reason from my brain like a high note-powered nuke.

The stupid part of my brain has officially staged a coup.

Must. Hear. Rapping. Opera. Woman. Again.

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