12 hours from now, 11 years ago, I was very nearly killed riding a bicycle to work. I’m partially physically disabled now. Holding posture is very limited for me, but I’m still mobile. Last year I did the same ride on the same route. I ran into someone I worked with that was doing well and it had a disproportionate negative effect to see their success.
For the first 9 years I tried to ignore the anniversary, but that doesn’t work well either. I still feel every bit of the pain I felt that day when I woke up in the hospital, so moving on is not an option. I’m a shell of my former self. I’m doing good to ride a bike a couple dozen miles at most and can’t stop, sit, or stand for more than a few minutes. Does anyone with experience like this have any suggestions to reduce the dip; to morn one’s own death in a more productive way?
You’re alive, and you’re even still riding! A couple dozen miles may seem like nothing to you when you compare past stuff but that’s still a looooong way and it means you aren’t locked out of your hobby. I cycle in the summer for getting around at that’s like, maybe a few kilometres. You’re not gunna be in the Tour de France but you’re killin’ it all the same.
I meet musicians sometimes who have arthritis. They’ve had to put down tougher instruments like the mandolin or struggle to play difficult pieces but they’ll pick up something less painful or just play slower pieces/easier versions. The music didn’t have to die with reduced capability.
There was a MAS*H episode about a guy who had lost his hand, and who was a pianist. He was so sure that he would never play the piano ever again and was devestated for much of the episode until he was given a piece written for only one hand. It’s not the same, of course, but the heart of it was still there in full force.
I think about it myself sometimes, about what I’d do if my hands ever stopped working considering how important they are for all my hobbies, but it’s amazing how much you can adapt, and it sounds like you’re still getting out there which is so frickin’ awesome I mean my friend do not understate that, ok?