You know what I never understood? When someone says “I’m offended by that,” society generally accepts that as valid. But if I say “I’m offended that you’re offended.” That’s somehow invalid.
As if I cannot have an emotional reaction to being misunderstood or misinterpreted. People just assume bad faith and contrarian behavior instead of trying to figure out where the other person is coming from.
And I think if we have a more open dialog, we’d fix so many more issues than tip-toeing around whatever we think could be a sensitive issue.
I like how Louis Rossmann puts it (quote taken from his colleague), “if you’re gonna be the bitch, be the whole bitch.” Which means if you’re going to disagree/complain about something, be extremely clear about it. That way, the other party has a chance to fix whatever the problem is instead of one side assuming the other is a jerk or temperamental or something. Understanding comes through communication, and bluntness is usually better than beating around the bush.
Absolutely! But, then again I’m neurodivergent so me not understanding the inefficiency in societal trends and communication is just… Life for me.
I think my entire lens through which I view reality is governed by efficiency. Which makes me blunt, to the point, no filter. But even those who know me well still took a long time to learn that I just say what I think, and there’s no additional unspoken thoughts behind it, and had to work hard to stop projecting onto me. But that’s why I love them deeply.
Makes sense. I don’t think I’m neurodivergent, or at least I haven’t been tested nor have I had any significant reason to think I should. That said, I have neurodivergent friends, and I really appreciate them when they’re blunt about things. I had a roommate who approached me at the start saying, “I’ve been diagnosed w/ Aspergers so I struggle with social cues. Is it okay if I ask for help interpreting social situations?” That was awesome, and I wish neuro-typical people would be similarly upfront, like, “e.g. I don’t like how you did X last week, it made me feel Y.” That gives me a chance to explain or apologize X, which hopefully addresses Y.
Say what you think, and hopefully you’re proven wrong about some negative assumptions. It’s uncomfortable and hard, I get it, but I think living w/ uncertainty is even more uncomfortable.
Yeah, I feel the same way. Like my friends thought I was extra confident and brave, but no I’m terrified just like everyone is. I just find the unknown and the uncertain way more terrifying and uncomfortable, so I’m always asking why why why till I figure out what’s going on.
You know what I never understood? When someone says “I’m offended by that,” society generally accepts that as valid. But if I say “I’m offended that you’re offended.” That’s somehow invalid.
As if I cannot have an emotional reaction to being misunderstood or misinterpreted. People just assume bad faith and contrarian behavior instead of trying to figure out where the other person is coming from.
And I think if we have a more open dialog, we’d fix so many more issues than tip-toeing around whatever we think could be a sensitive issue.
I like how Louis Rossmann puts it (quote taken from his colleague), “if you’re gonna be the bitch, be the whole bitch.” Which means if you’re going to disagree/complain about something, be extremely clear about it. That way, the other party has a chance to fix whatever the problem is instead of one side assuming the other is a jerk or temperamental or something. Understanding comes through communication, and bluntness is usually better than beating around the bush.
Absolutely! But, then again I’m neurodivergent so me not understanding the inefficiency in societal trends and communication is just… Life for me.
I think my entire lens through which I view reality is governed by efficiency. Which makes me blunt, to the point, no filter. But even those who know me well still took a long time to learn that I just say what I think, and there’s no additional unspoken thoughts behind it, and had to work hard to stop projecting onto me. But that’s why I love them deeply.
Makes sense. I don’t think I’m neurodivergent, or at least I haven’t been tested nor have I had any significant reason to think I should. That said, I have neurodivergent friends, and I really appreciate them when they’re blunt about things. I had a roommate who approached me at the start saying, “I’ve been diagnosed w/ Aspergers so I struggle with social cues. Is it okay if I ask for help interpreting social situations?” That was awesome, and I wish neuro-typical people would be similarly upfront, like, “e.g. I don’t like how you did X last week, it made me feel Y.” That gives me a chance to explain or apologize X, which hopefully addresses Y.
Say what you think, and hopefully you’re proven wrong about some negative assumptions. It’s uncomfortable and hard, I get it, but I think living w/ uncertainty is even more uncomfortable.
Yeah, I feel the same way. Like my friends thought I was extra confident and brave, but no I’m terrified just like everyone is. I just find the unknown and the uncertain way more terrifying and uncomfortable, so I’m always asking why why why till I figure out what’s going on.