Im from Texas but I live somewhere else now. My employees laugh at some things I thought were common phrases.
Anyway …
Person: I wish/wanted/hoped (blank)
Me: yeah, and I wish frogs had wings so they didn’t have to bump their ass on the ground when they hopped. Life is full of little disappointments.
In case you’re curious for a couple more cowboy phrases.
Person: are you sure this was (the most likely cause)
Me: the bright star is always Venus. Is that bright star Venus? Probably, we can find out, it’s a waste of time tho because it’ll be venus. It’s always Venus.
Last example: “I see” said the blind man as he pissed into the wind “it’s all coming back to me now”
this reminds me of one of my “cowboy phrases”
Im from Texas but I live somewhere else now. My employees laugh at some things I thought were common phrases.
Anyway …
Person: I wish/wanted/hoped (blank)
Me: yeah, and I wish frogs had wings so they didn’t have to bump their ass on the ground when they hopped. Life is full of little disappointments.
In case you’re curious for a couple more cowboy phrases.
Person: are you sure this was (the most likely cause)
Me: the bright star is always Venus. Is that bright star Venus? Probably, we can find out, it’s a waste of time tho because it’ll be venus. It’s always Venus.
Last example: “I see” said the blind man as he pissed into the wind “it’s all coming back to me now”
My dad always said: “I see” said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
That’s the original phrase yes.
You’re from very eloquent part of Texas
Want to hear another one that isn’t Texan, I think it’s just me?
When someone is hurrying me or being impatient I’ll say
“Chill Vladimir, don’t be Russian”
Oh that’s a good one, stolen.