Since starting my questioning journey, I feel like some of sexual orientation labels make less sense. I like girls (a lot apparently). I have always liked girls. Therefore as amab I am straight, I realize one day in the future “fuck it, I’m transitioning” and then I’m not longer straight. It honestly would make a lot more sense to use words like gynophilic or androphilic to describe more of what you’re attracted to instead of how your attraction relates to you
Probably too in my head about it or something. I don’t mean any disrespect in anyway. I’m just in a long unexpected journey of self reflection and used to view those a little more concretely.
Also, if I ever do get to a point of feeling like I should transition, I’m definitely coming out as a lesbian first and try to let them work backwards. It could be funny. Maybe it could ease the conversation along?
I’m rambling now, this started as (I thought) a kind of funny thought, then got too serious and I’ll shut up now.
Back when I was a young girl who thought she was a guy (I stole that line from Stephane Stirling, and will use it forever), I had always joked I was a lesbian, because if a girl who liked girls was lesbian, than so was I. Side note, it’s weird how your brain drops crap like that on you, and you don’t come out to yourself til you’re 37. Anyways, a year an a half ago, I realized I was bi. I have a thing for big, hunky guys, almost exclusively, on the masculine side. If it weren’t for that little self discovery, welllll… I can safely say I called myself out on that one. Even now, though I do describe myself as bi, I do have a heavy preference for feminism. At least, until I discover if my lust for women is either scientific or carnal. Kinda been coming to the realization I probably wasn’t wanting their body, I was wanting to have their body.
Sorry for oversharing…
I’m not 100% the direction you’re going here, but definitely lately I have been more or less maybe both “I want your body” (to enjoy) and “I want to be you”, which feels odd, because it hasn’t been much of a thing til recently.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll admit to have watching porn just to get off, but honestly, I used to think I was some pervert freak. Now… Now I realize I wasn’t wanting lustfully ogle those innocent women at the mall. I was admiring, studying. Probably trying some things out in my head. You know Amber, from Genshin Impact? I haven’t played it in a couple of years, but I kinda wanna adopt that style. Booty shorts, low cut shirt. I wanna adopt some of the stuff and styles I’ve seen, and hope I can be as pretty as they are some day. Ya know?