Thats because that last part of that is immensely rude.
That’s why I don’t say it.
Continuing to hit on somebody
I mean, I think I’ve been explicitly hit on by a gay man once, and I liked that because I was like “thanks, but I’m straight.” I’m referring more to the sort of plausibly deniable flirting or subconscious indications of interest, like holding slightly prolonged eye contact, giving excessive numbers of compliments, making sexual jokes but holding the punchline a second too long, somehow ending up standing or sitting nearby me. The sorts of things many straight men do with women.
Also, I’m not going to gay bars or nightclubs. I don’t usually go to nightclubs in general, and I have little interest in gay bars as, well, I’m not gay. The gay guys in my life tend to arrive via social hobbies I have or through friends of friends, and I typically only determine for sure that someone is gay after I have asked another person, because I was wondering if they were hitting on me after all the prolonged eye contact and weird compliments.
'gay men are sexual superpredators’
I mean, as a guy myself, I have complete empathy for a healthy male sex drive. I wish them the best in their sexual predations, and hope they support me in mine. Good hunting, sirs!
I certainly have met gay men who I didn’t get a flirtatious vibe from. And I am, of course, friendly to them as much as I am with anyone else. But for whatever reason, I rarely have multiple encounters with the same gay man. I’d say that the gay men I’ve met probably split about 70:30 in the flirty/uninterested categories.
Gay dudes also like… go shopping st the grocery store, work in cubicles, wait for the bus or train, walk their dog in the park, etc.
Are you suggesting I meet people like this? I have to say, that is quite weird. I’m not going to go to the park or grocery store and start introducing myself to strangers.
Sorry I jumped to a few assumptions/conclusions there, thank you for clarifying.
However:
Are you suggesting I meet people like this? I have to say, that is quite weird. I’m not going to go to the park or grocery store and start introducing myself to strangers.
I more or less do this all the time, when I am in a decent mood, and I see someone who also looks to be in at worst a neutral mood, and I have some kind of contextually relevant thing to say.
Not like… hey im so and so nice to meet youndo you come here often?
Yeah, that would be weird.
But just like… we’re both taking a while considering the same general section of a grocery aisle, hrm, which whatever doohickey/food thing do you think is best?
Or even, damn dude, solid beard/stache, or something like that.
I dunno, I used to smoke cigs for a long time, I think a bit of just… friendly random conversation, especially if its a genuine compliment?
Thats… just a lot more normal to me.
I’d also argue that a general level of this just basically is a measure of a healthy, non atomized society.
I’ve had so many memorable moments from getting into a convo with randos at a bus stop or what not, to me thats just… a fundamental part of living in a society? Spice of life?
That’s why I don’t say it.
I mean, I think I’ve been explicitly hit on by a gay man once, and I liked that because I was like “thanks, but I’m straight.” I’m referring more to the sort of plausibly deniable flirting or subconscious indications of interest, like holding slightly prolonged eye contact, giving excessive numbers of compliments, making sexual jokes but holding the punchline a second too long, somehow ending up standing or sitting nearby me. The sorts of things many straight men do with women.
Also, I’m not going to gay bars or nightclubs. I don’t usually go to nightclubs in general, and I have little interest in gay bars as, well, I’m not gay. The gay guys in my life tend to arrive via social hobbies I have or through friends of friends, and I typically only determine for sure that someone is gay after I have asked another person, because I was wondering if they were hitting on me after all the prolonged eye contact and weird compliments.
I mean, as a guy myself, I have complete empathy for a healthy male sex drive. I wish them the best in their sexual predations, and hope they support me in mine. Good hunting, sirs!
I certainly have met gay men who I didn’t get a flirtatious vibe from. And I am, of course, friendly to them as much as I am with anyone else. But for whatever reason, I rarely have multiple encounters with the same gay man. I’d say that the gay men I’ve met probably split about 70:30 in the flirty/uninterested categories.
Are you suggesting I meet people like this? I have to say, that is quite weird. I’m not going to go to the park or grocery store and start introducing myself to strangers.
Ok ok ok, that all makes much more sense.
Sorry I jumped to a few assumptions/conclusions there, thank you for clarifying.
However:
I more or less do this all the time, when I am in a decent mood, and I see someone who also looks to be in at worst a neutral mood, and I have some kind of contextually relevant thing to say.
Not like… hey im so and so nice to meet youndo you come here often?
Yeah, that would be weird.
But just like… we’re both taking a while considering the same general section of a grocery aisle, hrm, which whatever doohickey/food thing do you think is best?
Or even, damn dude, solid beard/stache, or something like that.
I dunno, I used to smoke cigs for a long time, I think a bit of just… friendly random conversation, especially if its a genuine compliment?
Thats… just a lot more normal to me.
I’d also argue that a general level of this just basically is a measure of a healthy, non atomized society.
I’ve had so many memorable moments from getting into a convo with randos at a bus stop or what not, to me thats just… a fundamental part of living in a society? Spice of life?