transcription: im like “hey lets play magic the gathering” and then ten minutes later my tongue is in the mouth of someones daughter whos parents still call her son

  • morphballganon
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    8 months ago

    I want to play a crazy theme deck

    “Commander would be perfect for this person”

    I didn’t want to play freakin’ Commander

    “Oh”

    Well that’s too bad that you don’t want to play crazy theme deck, the format.

    • slingstone
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      8 months ago

      I hate the depth of a card pool where everybody has some obscure game breaking card combo from some darned set I’ve never heard of that ensures I lose almost immediately. Also, I hate the idea of 100 different cards.

      I just want the Magic experience I had when I was young, so, you know, it’s not something I’ll ever get and probably not something anyone else wants.

      Some kind of limited draft is probably what I want, when I think about it–a limited draft of janky dreck that nobody has any clue how to play so we can all fumble around until someone figures out a way to win with whatever’s to hand.

      I know it probably doesn’t make much sense to most players these days, so I know I’m being ridiculous, but I want what I want.

      • morphballganon
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        8 months ago

        No no that’s legit. Maybe the lowest-power bracket in Commander would be ok? Still has the 100-card singleton rule though.

        Alternatively just 60-card casual among friends with a low-power house rule.

        Or what about Pauper? Depending on your region you might have a Pauper community.

        • slingstone
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          8 months ago

          Pauper sounds pretty cool. It feels like it would keep the power of the net deckers to a minimum and allow me to play the jank I love. I know no one who plays it, though.

          To be clear, I liked Standard when I came back, but the constantly rotating card allowability (WOTC’S Quest for More Money™) killed it for me–i refuse to pay as much for freaking cardboard as it would require for me to be marginally competitive.

          I even liked Arena for a while, but keeping up just became exhausting.

          More than anything, I guess I miss a point in time where the game was young and not discussed to death. It wasn’t very deep back then, and there were so few cards that I had a chance to have at least heard about just about everything I played against. I miss my Circles of Protection, Drudge Skeletons, Plague Rats, Serra Angels, Shivan Dragons, and Craw Wurms. I miss my white deck being a menace because I could band my weenies into a threat on defense and offense.

          The closest to what I want that I’ve gotten was a draft I played, because everyone had the same starting point and had to deal with what they had. Even I, an uncultured casual, had a chance to enjoy it and not be bulldozed.

          I’m sorry to be a dick and rant incoherently, y’all. I think I just hate that the game passed me by and that I’m pushing 50.