Start by thinking of fictional characters that you’ve admired or feel resonate with who you are. What made this fictional character someone I could relate to? What made this individual’s aesthetic and presentation worth emulating?

Not to be silly, but for me, it was Donatello the Ninja Turtle. I admired his compassion and curiosity. It was a gentler sort of masculinity that I felt was something worth emulating, rather than more toxic representations that are pervasive on that front. Later on, I encountered Raine Whispers from Owl House. I loved their courage and revolutionary spirit, and I just love their actor’s voice. I wish I could steal it. Rosie O’Donnel’s performance of Turk in Tarzan was also something that I wish I could emulate, vocally. Even as a kid, I had no idea Turk was a girl, and couldn’t tell if she was a boy. I had seen so many cartoon characters in drag that seeing Turk in Jane’s dress was funny no matter how you sliced it because it felt hilariously wrong for their gender.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that we learn so much from storytelling as we’re growing up, and the heroes we admire end up becoming a part of who we are. I’m sure there’s one character in a story you know who has roughly the gender you’re looking for.