I’ve been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can’t think of any argument in favour of it.

  1. The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.

  2. I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don’t get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don’t see any reward.

  3. Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn’t even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.

I’ve tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:

  1. I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label “married”
  2. I want a big party called “marriage ceremony” that other people also understand as “marriage ceremony” (as opposed to just any party)
  3. I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).
  • captainlezbian
    2·
    2 days ago

    Shared health insurance in the US was a big impetus to my marriage. But also being legally next of kin, and having default authority in medical situations (I’ve seen how when you specify who has that power it’s often ignored for the spouse). The man that wound up winning gay marriage in the US wasn’t allowed to be with his dying partner because they weren’t legally allowed to marry. Inheritance was a big issue during AIDS because your partner of many years who you wanted to marry dies and you’re left with nothing because their homophobic family contested the will, and you may even lose your home because of it if it was in their name or you relied on their income or savings for the rent or mortgage.

    Beyond that there are other protections. Most countries won’t separate spouses in refugee situations, and given that I may have rights to citizenship in some EU countries, if that goes through, my wife would be eligible to come with. In general you become treated as a package deal and gain rights fitting that. It has risks, but not doing it also has risks.