I’ve come to really hate April Fool’s Day. I never used to care. As a kid, April Fools pranks were annoying things like locking doors, tying shoe laces together, and nonsense like that. Things that might be annoying, or even amounting to physical assault, but ultimately nothing that toyed with my feelings.

In the age of the Internet, though, all April Fools Day pranks are are people just very lazily trying to get me excited for things, and that feels so, so, so much more malicious than anything the schoolyard bullies ever did.People and vectors I rely upon for information just become really sloppily unreliable for a full day out of the year, while they smugly pat themselves on their own backs for engaging in some social ritual I (apparently mistakenly) thought we’d all outgrown by the time we were 10.