I went this time, because I was expected to and it’d make some of my relatives (my grandma especially) sad if I didn’t, but now I think you’re right. I can make myself miserable to appease others, or I can not subject myself to this farce and they’ll have to learn to respect it. If they actually respect me to begin with, it shouldn’t be too hard for them. Thank you for putting it so clearly.
Remember that you can do mourning in different ways. Even if you don’t attend the rite most people will, you can ask someone (such as your grandma) to take a walk through the cementery, or wherever the ashes were thrown. That’s also a form of mourning.
I went this time, because I was expected to and it’d make some of my relatives (my grandma especially) sad if I didn’t, but now I think you’re right. I can make myself miserable to appease others, or I can not subject myself to this farce and they’ll have to learn to respect it. If they actually respect me to begin with, it shouldn’t be too hard for them. Thank you for putting it so clearly.
Remember that you can do mourning in different ways. Even if you don’t attend the rite most people will, you can ask someone (such as your grandma) to take a walk through the cementery, or wherever the ashes were thrown. That’s also a form of mourning.