I keep seeing men online (Reddit, Instagram, TikTok) saying how they don’t know personal details about their male friends of several years. It is mostly said in a proud context, or in disbelief when a woman talks about it.

I’m talking about knowing someone for years and not knowing what they do for work specifically, their relationship status/major issues, their life goals, their family situation, birthdays, and stuff like that.

For context, I am a man in my 20s. I have a close friend group of around 10 people. We all know each other very well. We have a group chat, and meet at least once a week (obviously some people can’t always make it). We know a lot of details about each other, so this idea of being close friends with someone and not knowing personal stuff about each other seems foreign and weird to me.

Does it actually happen, or just internet hyperbole?

  • @pixeltree
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    8 months ago

    If I was organized I’d have my friends birthdays. I know what my friends do but not specifics, I have a friend who’s a bartender and I know his schedule but not the name of the bar he works at. I have a friend who’s a packaging engineer and know some products he’s worked on but not the name of the company. I have a friend who had a girlfriend, now fiance, and I didn’t know her name for a long time. I had a friend who broke up and I didn’t know for months. Why? Nobody told me these things. And largely, I don’t ask, because both I don’t want to pry and I’m probably going to forget anyways. It goes the other way as well-I have a friend who vents a lot to me about his family and I know how his parents have hurt him far better than they do.