You’re not inherently bad, you were just raised Catholic and your autism hasn’t been diagnosed. You don’t display your feelings the same as others and you’ve had guilt about everything shoved down your throat to the point that you’ve internalized it.

Also, raise your dating standards. Someday you’ll marry someone who loves you so much, they’re happy to make you potatoes every day. Stop wasting time with people who don’t even like you. It’s contagious.

Also, don’t worry about your career. It’s such a twisting path, there’s nothing to prepare for in that sense. Maybe learn a little bit more about history and geography though.