WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.
“I can tell a man’s testosterone level by the feel and texture of his balls. Takes a few seconds of fondling but it works!”
nonsense. only the tongue is sensitive enough for these types of measurements.
Just like how you can detect if someone has diabetes by tasting their urine. Gotta do a teste taste test.
well yes of course. just like you taste semen to determine testosterone levels. I mean we are all medical men here.
Everyone knows it’s about the mouthfeel.