It’s all those damn bastards at CERN to blame for this mess. They just had to try sending a message back in time, and suddenly history changed. Nelson Mandela lived a long and respected life instead of dying in prison.
They didn’t expect it, but they felt like they had made the world better. Then the next message only caused the Monopoly Man to lose his monocle. The next time the Barenstiene Bears changed their name. Such random, stupid little changes.
So they went for the gold, and tried to stop the skirmish some folk called World War 1.5. But this time Hitler gave up on painting and blowing dudes in back alleys for nickels and instead of WW1.5 we got WW2.
Of course they had to keep trying to fix that and change things back. Now the US and Israel commit genocide, China beats the US in personal freedoms and the relatively low level of constant government espionage of it’s own citizens, Crime is legal in the US, we’re dropped the War on Drugs in exchange for the War on Science and Medicine, crime is officially legal for the wealthy, the bulk of the sitting US administration including the President and folks like the King of England’s own Brother raped loads of kids and almost definitely killed some of them and everyone in the world knows it but no one does a thing about it… and also Sinbad’s Shazaam movie never happened and Darth Vader no longer says “Luke, I am your father.”
Those last two aren’t quite on the same scale as some of the rest, but I liked that fucking Shazaam movie as a kid and it never even existed now.
It’s all those damn bastards at CERN to blame for this mess. They just had to try sending a message back in time, and suddenly history changed. Nelson Mandela lived a long and respected life instead of dying in prison.
They didn’t expect it, but they felt like they had made the world better. Then the next message only caused the Monopoly Man to lose his monocle. The next time the Barenstiene Bears changed their name. Such random, stupid little changes.
So they went for the gold, and tried to stop the skirmish some folk called World War 1.5. But this time Hitler gave up on painting and blowing dudes in back alleys for nickels and instead of WW1.5 we got WW2.
Of course they had to keep trying to fix that and change things back. Now the US and Israel commit genocide, China beats the US in personal freedoms and the relatively low level of constant government espionage of it’s own citizens, Crime is legal in the US, we’re dropped the War on Drugs in exchange for the War on Science and Medicine, crime is officially legal for the wealthy, the bulk of the sitting US administration including the President and folks like the King of England’s own Brother raped loads of kids and almost definitely killed some of them and everyone in the world knows it but no one does a thing about it… and also Sinbad’s Shazaam movie never happened and Darth Vader no longer says “Luke, I am your father.”
Those last two aren’t quite on the same scale as some of the rest, but I liked that fucking Shazaam movie as a kid and it never even existed now.