Sometime last year, I heard someone say something to the effect of “I think the pandemic had a pretty major effect on all of us,” and for a moment I thought “honestly I think I got through it fairly unscathed” because I was only considering my tolerance for the disruption to my life at the time. I was in a financially secure position and had plenty of social contact with friends through online gaming. I never felt any more depressed than normal throughout “quarantine” insofar as we even had one. Got my vaccines. Never tested positive. Didn’t lose anyone close to me (to the illness). Overall, I thought I’d made it through pretty alright.
Then I thought for just a few seconds more and I realized that the pandemic is what caused me to literally give up on humanity. Seeing how little everyone cared about anyone who was actually affected. People making posts online about how it was “fake” when people all over the world were dying. The ones who refused to wear a mask. Such a simple fucking request. Put this cloth over your face for a while and you can help not get people killed, but they still wouldn’t do it. I lived in a more rural area at the time, so it took a while for things to get really bad there. I remember thinking “you idiots will change your tune when it’s your grandmother dying” and then they just didn’t… Their own friends and family dying around them and most just slid further into conspiracy and paranoia.
The whole experience just fundamentally reshaped what I believe about humans and I don’t think anything will ever be able to switch things back. It reminds me of the scene in Terminator where John Connor says “We’re not gonna make it are we? People, I mean.”
Just a quiet resignation to the reality that left with nothing more than our own devices and all the resources we’d need to persist until the heat death of the universe, we’ll likely end up going extinct due to something completely preventable and probably caused by us. We choose our own destruction.
I didn’t feel this way before covid. I used to believe we’d eventually figure things out. Not anymore.
Sometime last year, I heard someone say something to the effect of “I think the pandemic had a pretty major effect on all of us,” and for a moment I thought “honestly I think I got through it fairly unscathed” because I was only considering my tolerance for the disruption to my life at the time. I was in a financially secure position and had plenty of social contact with friends through online gaming. I never felt any more depressed than normal throughout “quarantine” insofar as we even had one. Got my vaccines. Never tested positive. Didn’t lose anyone close to me (to the illness). Overall, I thought I’d made it through pretty alright.
Then I thought for just a few seconds more and I realized that the pandemic is what caused me to literally give up on humanity. Seeing how little everyone cared about anyone who was actually affected. People making posts online about how it was “fake” when people all over the world were dying. The ones who refused to wear a mask. Such a simple fucking request. Put this cloth over your face for a while and you can help not get people killed, but they still wouldn’t do it. I lived in a more rural area at the time, so it took a while for things to get really bad there. I remember thinking “you idiots will change your tune when it’s your grandmother dying” and then they just didn’t… Their own friends and family dying around them and most just slid further into conspiracy and paranoia.
The whole experience just fundamentally reshaped what I believe about humans and I don’t think anything will ever be able to switch things back. It reminds me of the scene in Terminator where John Connor says “We’re not gonna make it are we? People, I mean.”
Just a quiet resignation to the reality that left with nothing more than our own devices and all the resources we’d need to persist until the heat death of the universe, we’ll likely end up going extinct due to something completely preventable and probably caused by us. We choose our own destruction.
I didn’t feel this way before covid. I used to believe we’d eventually figure things out. Not anymore.