@homesweethomeMrL All’s I can say is that this person’s anger is justified.
It’s objectively not a normal reaction though. It’s understandable, sure, but most people stop being angry about even heinous stuff after a few years.
“Everyone should remain nice and calm so they can continue to be exploited peacefully”
I’m not even one of the far left in here but that’s still how I read your comment. Are you british?
if you’re not angry about heinous things every time you’re reminded of them - then you’re the problem
Maybe in a few years and a few dozen hours of therapy you’ll be in a healthier place and will understand. I hope so and wish you all the best.
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anger is a natural emotion everyone experiences, it helps us express the strength of our beliefs - if you value justice and kindness, you should be angry when faced with injustice and malice. it’s normal for someone who experienced something tragic (and preventable) to feel angry at those who allowed it to happen regardless of how much time has passed. that anger should lessen over time, but it will never be fully gone. if it gets in the way of living it should be addressed, but one can’t just “get over it”
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What the therapist doesn’t understand is that the anger is not just about mom dying. It’s about how everyone around this person failed them in a moment of danger, and as a result of that her mom died a horrible death. And even later, her society was collectively unable to acknowledge its behavior and the consequences it had.
I did not lose my mom but I did work in a hospital as a physician throughout the pandemic. I remember the ICU being full from Covid patients to the point that the hospital had to open new sections up and nurses working overtime to accommodate all of the sick. Then I would leave the hospital after providing care to all of these sick and dying people… and go to the grocery store where everyone was refusing to even mask up and I would see ghoulish politicians who were talking about how it was a hoax. I could see this catastrophe happening in front of my own eyes and everyone around me just wanted to pretend it was fake.
I didn’t suffer the loss this woman did but those terrible experiences and the feeling that my community had completely failed its members forever changed how I see people and the society I live in. So yeah, I get why she is still mad.
It bothers me to this day that people thought it was a hoax. A lot of people I knew who thought it was a hoax wound up catching Covid, though none of them were hospitalized over it, which honestly kinda sucks because it means they didn’t learn their lesson.
One of the doctors I worked with bought into the craziness and was arguing with the hospital about vaccines and masks even as our ICU was about to burst. Then his wife caught it and ended up in the ICU as a patient. He still did not change his mind despite her being in the hospital, and this was a physician.
I guess what I’m saying is they still probably wouldn’t have learned. I don’t mean to be so pessimistic but propaganda is so powerful.
Michael Shermer said this a long time ago but he said, “Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons.”
My wife worked in ICU then COVID ICU. She still gets PTSD flashbacks from everything she dealt with when someone comes in with similar symptoms. I got front row tickets to seeing a person who’s entire job is to keep people alive go from “oh someone I had today coded and we couldn’t bring them back” every so often to “we had multiple people die today. A few more aren’t much longer. If we put them on their back, they’ll die. If we give them water, they’ll choke and die. They still refuse to believe that COVID is real as they are actively suffering and dying of it”.
Yeah, we get a touch testy when people say it was fake or overblown
I was routinely being sent to places like Texas to work during the pandemic because they didn’t care. It made me so mad being down there and getting made fun of for wearing a mask when where I live, you couldn’t go into any building without one.
Okay, but, my fellow tumblrite, therapy isn’t going to help with that. When you went to your therapist, they assumed you want to stop feeling a certain way and feel different. If you don’t want the help they can offer to achieve that (which is valid), why are you there?
i think a therapist should be able to help their patient with feels that are the correct reactions to a situation, without resulting to a “why aren’t you over this already?”
i bet this specific form of anger also makes the patient feel incredibly hopeless, so their mind has a choice - to feel anger, or despair, they chose anger, and it needs to be worked through in a healthy way, not just gotten over with
What is a healthy reaction to the realization that you live in a society that does not care for you? That rewards sociopaths who will lie for their own wealth and power in ways that kill millions?
i’ve got no idea man. maybe trying to do activism?
my imperfect solution was to limit media intake, i’m fully aware i’m just holding hands in front of my eyes pretending i don’t see - but you know what, i’m no longer depressed, i’m no longer riddled with anxiety… so i guess plugging your ears and going lalalalala works. (i have to add that i do my best to stay kind of informed, but not too much. basically whatever memes give me, i’ll know)
A mental health therapist can and should be able to help a client manage their righteous anger as they work their way through it together. Anger underlies a great many things, and grief is one of them. You don’t just say, “I don’t want to feel angry,” or just decide, “I’m not going to be angry about this anymore,” when the rage is this broad and deep and well-established: in time, that kind of denial and repression is just going to explode in your face, if it works at all.
Instead, because anger is very well understood, there are known ways to deal with it. Anger doesn’t just disappear on its own, nor even very quickly, and a person suffering this kind of grief could use some assistance diving into the anger and the very exact specifics that are causing it. The therapist should be able to navigate this presenting anger with relative ease and guide the client through it, not just with skillful therapeutic inquiries to get to the very specific root of this writer’s unique grief which is where they’d start, but also with coping skills to give the client to be able to self-manage their righteous rage for as long as it takes them to work through it and clear it so that their overwhelming grief can resolve.
This therapist is doing none of that. Instead, they are just offering commentary on the presence and length of the anger as though they’re watching a movie, when they could and should be helping the writer sort it out and work through it. That’s not on the writer, that’s on the therapist.
Yes but to what end? It doesn’t sound to me like they want to manage it and work through it and clear it. They want to hold on to their anger.
Exactly. Whether or not you feel justified in your anger and grief, it is maladaptive to hold onto them if it is preventing you from living your life. You can move past awful things, but you have to actually recognize the issue and want to change.
It is no measure of health to be well adapted to profoundly sick society.
At what point do we acknowledge that YOUR response is maladaptive for the human race as a whole because it has led us here? It has led us to this point. You people who decide that feeling calm and at ease is more important than dealing with dangerous people or situations.
I am angry because these things are still present. I am angry because they are not being dealt with in any way. If you want me to “adapt” to my environment and learn to live with the evils that take place daily, to not be angry when I see mothers liquified by our bombs, to be calm when I see police drag a man out of a council meeting for clapping 3 times, you can get fucked.
You can get absolutely fucked. I will remain BLOODTHRISTY AND CONSUMED BY RAGE until I can QUENCH MY FUCKING THIRST.
clippy pfps are stupid, btw. microsoft was already evil by the time clippy was introduced
That’s not the point. Its a reminder that in the late 90s/early 00s, MS was slapped with multiple antitrust lawsuits for their evil actions. Its not
remember how great MicroSoft was
its
remember when the powers that be at least pretended to care about consumer rights
Member when the government cared about monopolies and forced companies to split completely when they got too much market share?
Or that time a deadly flu swept through the world and while it did kill a bunch of people (and change the course of history in interesting ways), people and the government followed best practices known by science at the time and social distanced/masked up as best they understood it? Yeah, it got a racial nickname of Spanish flu despite it not originating there but still.
what???
…what does this mean???
Say ‘what’ again. I dare you! I double-dare you, motherfucker!
what???
I think what this person isn’t getting is the feeling of anger and the actions one takes in response to feeling anger are very different things. Feeling anger is part of being human. Acting angry is absolutely called for in some circumstances, but it can easily spin out of control and infect other parts of your life that have nothing to do with what you’re angry about. Dollars to donuts this person has let anger infect their life to the point it’s disrupting something, like maybe their relationships or employment, which is why they’re in therapy.
I still wear my mask in public.
I remember hearing an ad for a big water park in my area during covid saying they are still open.
They knew there’d be push back so there was a line “no one is forcing you to go” in that dj voice.
Pissed me right off, it put people in my area in more danger because all of those people mingling there still need to go to public stores and shit.
Based.
Sometimes anger protects you 🤷🏻♂️
🫂
So he paid the therapist to do what exactly? If he things nothing is wrong, then why even go?
You can be angry in a healthy way. You can carry anger in ways that do not eat you up from the inside, causing that anger to harden into resentful bitterness, and that allow you to fully grieve your very real and unjust losses – that you will NEVER get back – so that even with the presence of anger and ongoing non-resolution of the presenting loss, you’re still moving toward a better life, daily.
Survivors of things like trafficking have to deal with this kind of human-evil created unjust loss and forever damage as well. Pretty sure that’s what this writer wants help with, and it’s not an unreasonable ask of a mental health professional.
But this therapist just wants to skip all that, apparently, which is not uncommon (many, many people are anger avoidant, even therapists) but this anger avoidance does not help their client at all.
The writer coming back with an extended FUCK YEAH I’M ANGRY (and here’s exactly why) rant is not just reasonable, but a better response than the therapist’s. The writer, by openly acknowledging their anger, is actually handling it in a healthier, less self-destructive way than someone who is afraid to even acknowledge it.
Anger – especially deep anger and rage coming from horribly unjust situations that cause lifelong loss, and even more so situations that didn’t even need to happen except for someone else’s unnecessary actions – can be an incredibly tricky emotion to navigate, even threatening to all involved. Many people have visceral, deeply unpleasant reactions to the expression of anger, their own and the anger of others, and again, some of them are even therapists. But if you want to deal with grief, chances are excellent you’re going to have to deal with anger at some point too.
This writer has a much better start on the whole issue of anger than their therapist does, IMO.
If I knew this person, the first thing I would tell them would be what someone else told me long ago: an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is absolutely normal. And I’d start there because it sounds like the therapist may not have even gotten that far.
People can have more than one problem. Last time I checked, humans aren’t 2D. Or even if that’s the main reason the person went to therapy, perhaps they weren’t looking for a “how do I turn this frown upside down” solution, instead hoping to get some advice on how to better channel their frustrations, or gain clearer focus, or just to have someone to help sort out own thoughts. There can be many reasons.
It seems like there was a misunderstanding on what he wanted out of therapy or, a mismatch between therapist and client. Something wasn’t clicking.
A friend of mine named Robotech_Master was ran over by a guy released from jail due to Covid, he was riding an e-bike.
I hate the Covid response and e-bikes and will hold grudges against them as long as I live.
I’d make a point of just going off at anyone who mentioned Covid to me, and making them as uncomfortable as possible. Make them regret ever opening their mouth.
