I’m in my early 30s, so not necessarily “mid-life”, but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I’ve tried new things and enjoyed the things that I’ve tried.
But I feel like I need something “more”, but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can’t outrun death so I don’t know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn’t exist idk.
I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.
More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I’ve always been a loner and the sort of “terminally online” type. I don’t experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual “dating” is not as prevalent or simple as you’d think. My career is very solid and I’m paid very well, so I’m not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it’s really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I’d be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.
Thanks all for listening.
Totally normal between 28–33. Ask anyone.
Seems like a lot of people from late adolescence to “mature” are experiencing it just now. I think we’re realizing we’ve stuffed ourselves into very tiny boxes, and we’ve grown enough to feel the pressure. I think a bunch of us are about to get out of our boxes.
still kinda young. if its at 40+ it might be something different though.
Fair enough. I will say at least many people at this stage seem like they’ve chosen to have children as their purpose. Fortunately or unfortunately (depends on your view), it’s not something that’s ever going to be in the cards for me. So I’ve taken to thinking of other things I suppose.
And those that have children also go through the same thing.
It’s like, “I’m definitely an adult now. Am I doing what I want? Is it too late to change? Have I made the right choices? Am I setting things up well? Am I missing out on anything?”
It’ssuper normal because you get the feeling at that age that life’s locking in. It’s not, but it feels like that, especially as everyone looks at everyone else, all secretly worrying in the same way.