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- cross-posted to:
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The musician started dating Australian model Helena Vestergaard in 2013, and they split after being together for approximately two years.
Before that, Kiedis, now 63, had a relationship with Heather Christie, who was 22 years his junior. When the pair welcomed their son, Everly Bear, in 2007, Kiedis was 44 and his partner was 21.
In the latest episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, Williams and her co-host Joanne McNally discussed age-gap relationships, with the former I’m a Celebrity campmate saying: “Do you know who else I find really disappointing, because I really like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Anthony Kiedis.”
Seemingly referring to his romance with Vestergaard, Williams continued: “He is like 54 or something, and he is going out with a 19-year-old. And it is like, ‘Dude, what are you talking about?’”
McNally replied: “I’ve seen this. I just accept now that most men, all men, are drawn to – I’m going to be very careful how I say this – significantly younger women. That’s all I’m going to say. It is what it is and I don’t think there’s any getting away from it. We judge it but it’s not going to change.”
“I would have to say that it is not all men,” Williams continued. “Because I do think it is a very specific thing.”
Addressing why younger women might decide to date older men, McNally added: “And of course, people like him [Anthony Kiedis] and rockstars like him can get away with it because no 19-year-old girl wants to be going out with some old lad who is driving a Toyota Corolla around town.
Not true. Rock stars are LESS likely to “get away with it”, because of all the scrutiny. Plenty of young girls are attracted to older men, I experienced it myself up to around 55. I’m very far from rich and famous. There’s nothing illegal about it, so the only “getting away” that happens is social stigma. Being rich and famous means they can be older and uglier, I suppose.
The 55 year old has the life experience to know that they’re taking advantage if they fuck a teenager. The power dynamic is inherently imbalanced, especially with a rock star.
I don’t know if power imbalance is the right frame to work from, here. Ultimately, rock stars and other public persona have a power imbalance with basically everyone. I once had a short term fling with an older lady who turned out to also be worth north of half a bil. There was absolutely a power imbalance involved when she had her private plane pick me up for a date weekend across Europe.
I think you might look more to, I guess, “life stage”. Back when I was in college, I remember there being relationships between college freshmen and college seniors, and well as relationships between college freshmen and high school seniors. Generally speaking, the freshmen dating high school seniors had longer term more stable relationships with a smaller age gap…and yet they got shit on much more than college freshmen/seniors. Because a college student and a high school student are in different stages of their life.
I imagine you end up with similar situations here. I genuinely don’t think a rock star has emotionally matured past teens/early 20s, because they never really had to grow up once the money showed up.
I struggle with dating quite a bit, but I imagine I’d have more in common with a 20 year old that’s been working for 2+ years, than a 26 year old grad student that hasnt worked a non-TA job in their life. Although I don’t think either would be age appropriate. Just illustrating the example.
He’s got more than one defining characteristic that causes an inherent power imbalance - age, money, and influence.
It’s possible for age-gap relationships to be healthy, I absolutely believe this.
But I don’t believe it in the case of Kiedis with his history of raping children.
True, this particular pedo is still a pedo. Note that my life stage analysis still holds true for this and previous improprieties.
My point was to question the power imbalance phrasing. I think that should be retired in favor of something that is more reflective of (in my opinion) actually predatory relationships. Life stage is almost a structural, inherent power imbalance. Power imbalance on its own can just reflect a difference in decision making.
I prefer the campsite rule myself:
The fact that limited to people with less power than you makes me confused…why not everyone?
It is for everyone, but especially with power imbalance relationships.
Not everyone agrees with the premise, so it doesn’t follow. Sex and romance are not inherently harmful, and relationships with large age-gaps are not inherently harmful either. Society would do well to stop treatiing sex as taboo. That is harmful.
This situation is inherently predatory. A much older rock star has a lot more power than a 19 year old in many, many ways.
That doesn’t at all make such a relationship “inherently predatory”, but you’re free to believe whatever tf you want.
Yes it does. He has significantly more money, fame, and influence.
Sex and romance are not inherently harmful. Having more money, fame, or influence than one’s partner does not make the relationship predatory. I’ll repeat: Society would do well to stop treating sex as taboo. Sexual stigma is terrible for us all.
Treating all sex and rape as inherently good and healthy is wild.
Strawman, meet velma. velma, strawman. lol
He’s not in jail for raping a 14 year old, is he?
Are any of those rock stars in jail for raping girls?
I recently turned 60, and I’ve been on a journey with my health and fitness, having been morbidly obese for more than 15 years. I am now in the best shape of my life. I am more muscular, stronger, faster, have better endurance, etc., etc., than at any other time in my life. 60 year old me could beat 25 year old me’s ass any day of the week. I also have the good fortune of having good genetics for facial aesthetics, and I’m finding that women of all ages are attracted to me. It’s insane. Attraction isn’t logical, it’s instinctual. People want what they want and come up with justifications in hindsight. If you have a handsome face and the body of a Hollywood A-lister, you don’t need money or fame to attract women. It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you’ve got the goods, they want it.
I 100% agree with this, attraction is just as much the animal in us as it is the human. Also, good on you for getting fit, I hope I’m still kicking ass like that when I get to 60. The big difference I think is that you’re probably not out here trying to hook up with jailbait.
I for one don’t give two shits about age gaps after 30, everyone involved has hit their developmental markers and that’s as adult as you get. I’m also not gonna stand between two adults hooking up regardless of development, it’s legal and it’s not my place to kink shame.
Anthony Kiedis though, he wwrote in his autobiography that hr fucked a 14 year old, found out immediately after that she was 14, fucked her again anyways, and them wrote the song Otherside about the experience. Doesn’t matter who he’s dating or what his explanation is, he’s a pedophile and that’s not acceptable.
I’ve not dated anyone under 35, and 30 is my lower limit.
Thanks for clarifying, I was definitely side-eyeing your earlier comment before seeing this one.
Yeah age-gap relationships when everyone is 30+ don’t bother me at all as long as everyone is consenting.
I can’t help but notice that in May-December relationships, December usually comes with Christmas.
That’s too cryptic for me to understand. Can you explain what you’re trying to say?
He ain’t saying they’re gold diggers…