To be succinct and private… My incubator worked me for weeks to build rapport and trust with me in my younger days, to get me to tell her a something that she would ultimately, and immediately use and weaponize against me and others.
This wasnt the first time I tried to have a relationship with her, but it did finally open my eyes and become the last. In the many many decades since, I’ve not so much as acknowledge her existence when crossing paths.
Jesus. That doesn’t sound like a momentary lapse in judgment the way you describe it, but a trait. Must have been horrendous. Well done for not turning out like that.
Yeah, it was not the first time I saw that kind of emotional sadism from her, but it was the one that made me realize that she literally thought some people deserved to die for things they ultimately had little to no control over.
Thankfully my dad is a bit more levelheaded (though he still enabled her) and I have a lot of extended family who also can’t stand her. I credit them as being the main reason I didn’t end up continuing the abuse cycle.
Those anchor points (stable people) are essential. It’s why I try to be less of an introvert these days. You never know who you’re helping just by being explicitly decent.