“I just wanted people to know I’m a pervert, you know? I mean, it’s a massive part of who I am. I did have a t-shirt with ‘I’m a massive pervert’ written on it, but people thought it was a post-ironic statement on modern sexual mores. It wasn’t, I’m just a weird, seedy bloke.”
A t-shirt would be cheaper. And, probably last longer. Those glasses are cheaply made.
2nd paragraph: