It’s normal for people to be violent toward me, and obtaining requisites to sustain being consistently causes people anger. People often don’t tolerate me complaining, even to ask for help when in overwhelming pain. Sleeping hasn’t been allowed in years. I feel sad. I’m worried I’ll lose ability to speak by complaining.
I think I’m not particularly knowledgable or qualified enough to give real trustworthy advice, but it really sounds like you’re in a dangerously abusive relantionship and need to get as far away from your partner as possible.
You do not need anyone’s permission. You do not need to tell anyone where you’re going. Forget about karma, your life is much more important. Find a shelter or a social worker or something like that.
Do not stay with an abusive partner. I lost count of all the stories I’ve heard of people being murdered by that type of person.
Thanks for responding. There is a lot to explain through. I want to make a crayon drawing & rest some first though.
Karma is the law of cause & effect that generates the world & subjective experience. It’s driven by intention and good to be conscientious of. I’m explaining & working through karmic entanglements.
My life-partner goes through schizoaffective PTSD spells of anger. More normally, we’re in a loving relationship & supportive of each other. He apologizes for anger afterward, and also apologized online for recent wrongdoings when I asked There’s too much of the context to try explaining at once. He also identifies as being mildly on the autistic spectrum. It wouldn’t necessarily be safer or less extreme with options of leaving. During worst cases, I resort to e.g. requesting ways to migrate by bike, which can be regarded as psychotic with the injury I have & lack of money. He’s in a better mood & we watched a short film together. I think it would be easier if he was able to play video games. We were both homeless when we met. Thanks again for responding; it’s ok if you don’t want to continue talking about it; it can be a lot.