They don’t HAVE to be this way. Religion, as a whole, can and does do great things for people worldwide; it’s when they start to view themselves and their doctrine as the ONLY one that is correct and therefore everyone who doesn’t deserves conversion or death, that’s where problems start to arise. Or rather, the problems have probably already started for whatever reason and they turn themselves into extremists as a strategy but you get my point. Plus, most of the time, when you reach that point, the religion in question has usually been co-opted by a political movement who wants to USE the faith to greater or lesser degrees to accomplish their goals.

Roman Catholicism is just a particularly good example of the draconian aspect you mentioned because for most of it’s history it WAS a political entity and yeah, capital-S States tend to frown upon dissent in any form. Fun fact, the term “Catholic” is derived from an old Greek word that roughly translates to ‘universal’ or ‘regarding the whole’ and has been used by basically every denomination at one point or another to say ‘I’m the correct version’. Eastern religions like Hinduism, Buddhism, etc, TEND to be less overtly problematic than their Western counterparts (although they’re still far from perfect), but I think it’s safe to say that the geopolitical and cultural histories of each region have a greater effect on the religion in question rather than vice versa. But that’s something we could (and have) debate for literal centuries

But yeah, even though on a scale from 0-10 of ‘how religious one is’ I’m probably at like a 0.1, or even lower, I still firmly believe (ha) that if someone can find peace or community or whatever else they’re looking for in their life through religion, I say let 'em go for it (as long as nobody gets hurt or has their liberties infringed, obviously)