😬
That’s like…a normal thing, right? Right?? Cause you can see if you made a mistake, if you actually said what you wanted to say and not some gibberish instead…right?? I’m normal, aren’t I???
TMI, trauma tangent
I have…bad thoughts. Sometimes. Well, pretty often. They’re the kind of thoughts that people who went through horrible things sometimes have. Thoughts that…are supposed to make them “feel in control” of what’s happened to them, if I understand it correctly.
But…I don’t remember anything. I don’t think I have any trauma. As hard as I try to search my memory, nothing comes up. Nothing like that, nothing traumatizing. Nothing “bad”. And that’s why it doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t know why I’m like this.
I mean the only thing I remember is my step-dad very briefly groping my ass when we were getting off the subway when I was younger, but that’s it. And I don’t even feel any trauma from that. Nothing bad happened to me. And still they won’t stop…
I should get a therapist…
Yeppp
Tap for spoiler
I didn’t realize how much my parents unhappy marriage screwed me up until I was older because it was all I knew. Much less my father’s npd, which I only even considered when my ex told me I react to things like the child of a narcissist. In many ways my childhood had a lot of good, but the bad screwed me up enough I need professional help (currently receiving it) to fix.