I think you’re looking at it the wrong way here. I quit going to my dad for advice at a young age because he was a narcissistic shithead. I still let his criticism have an effect on me. Once I stopped caring what he thought, my life got better because I had less anxiety attacks, and felt a lot better about who I am.
It’s about picking who actually has your best interest in mind when finding who can criticize you.
But lots of people seeking advice are alsonseeking validation, consciously or not. So they end up seeking advice from those who will tell them what they want to hear. If they also then choose to disregard criticism from anyone else, they never get honest feedback.
Much like the advice ‘don’t eat the yellow snow’ requires you to not be colour blind, the advice ‘only listen to those worthy of your respect’ requires you to be capable of telling the difference between compassion and obsequiousness. Both are good advice, but there are prerequisites which may preclude the handicapped.
It’s a possible way to develop get echo chambers - the trick is being open to listening to both criticism and advice rather than taking only one of them.
That’s a dangerous way to live. It’s how we get echo chambers of people unwilling to challenge their own beliefs.
I disagree
I think you’re looking at it the wrong way here. I quit going to my dad for advice at a young age because he was a narcissistic shithead. I still let his criticism have an effect on me. Once I stopped caring what he thought, my life got better because I had less anxiety attacks, and felt a lot better about who I am.
It’s about picking who actually has your best interest in mind when finding who can criticize you.
But lots of people seeking advice are alsonseeking validation, consciously or not. So they end up seeking advice from those who will tell them what they want to hear. If they also then choose to disregard criticism from anyone else, they never get honest feedback.
Much like the advice ‘don’t eat the yellow snow’ requires you to not be colour blind, the advice ‘only listen to those worthy of your respect’ requires you to be capable of telling the difference between compassion and obsequiousness. Both are good advice, but there are prerequisites which may preclude the handicapped.
I wouldn’t be surprised if most people asking for advice aren’t actually looking for solutions. They just want their decisions validated.
It’s a possible way to develop get echo chambers - the trick is being open to listening to both criticism and advice rather than taking only one of them.
I was just about to say something like that