Many of us have heard the deprecating characterizations of many countries. Like Putin described the UK as an “insignificant little Island”, and Russia has been characterized as a “mob run gas station” or Trump calling El Salvador, Haiti and African countries as “shithole countries”.
Let’s flip things around for a bit of fun. After a heavy night of drinking with your country’s head of tourism, you have one shot to give your best self-depricating characterization of your country for a new border sign.
I’ll go first:
Welcome to Canada - Enjoy world class sexual assault in sport – Come and play!
The US has been done pretty well. I’m from the state of Indiana, specifically; “There Are A Lot Of People In Indiana, But Annoyingly, I Do Know The Person You’re Asking Me About”
Had that experience at a festival in Germany. Walked from my tent to the stage and someone came up to me to ask “Hey, do you know where Rick is?”. 40000 people at the festival, I had never seen that person in my life, but annoyingly, I did know who and where Rick was. He had walked past me just a couple of minutes earlier.
I actually had that moment on a family vacation. A hotel waitress said oh, you’re from Canada? What city? REALLY? Do you know so and so?
We thought it was just cheesing up the tourists for tips. Turns out she was close friends with a colleague from work and we heard stories about each other from our mutual connection. It does happen.
My mother and I were driving through Texas on the way to Tennessee to visit some friends. Stopped in a random restaurant just off the highway (not an Interstate highway, just a State highway). One of her coworkers was at another table. We are not from Texas, or even New Mexico. That restaurant in the middle was not on a major Interstate corridor and was multiple states away from home, and still somehow we ended up there at the same time.
It’s a small world after all.
That is hilarious. I live in New Zealand now, and I’ve actually met at least two people who know acquaintances of mine from back home, and one person who even spent a part of their childhood about a half hour’s drive away from my (very rural!) childhood home, though their family moved down here a few years before I was born.
So, two things to know about Indiana: one, our demonym is “Hoosier.” No, we don’t know what it means. And two, our list of local heroes includes sci-fi author Kurt Vonnegut. In his fourth book, he wrote, “I don’t know what it is about Hoosiers. But wherever you go there is always a Hoosier doing something very important there.”
I don’t know about “important,” but apparently we’re pretty memorable.
Indiana: Crossroads of America (Because Nobody Wants to Stay)
Do you know the muffin man? I’m told he lives on Drury lane.