tweet by Zara Larsson @zaralarsson:
Isn’t it strange how every woman knows someone who’s been sexually harassed but no man seem to know any harasser?
tweet by Zara Larsson @zaralarsson:
Isn’t it strange how every woman knows someone who’s been sexually harassed but no man seem to know any harasser?
Hi! French feminist dude here for context.
First of all, I am sorry for what you had to endure. It’s a lot.
Now regarding the post, I encountered very few harassers in my life (my own brother sadly is one of them, and a Texan expat that used to be my friend until, well you know)
I don’t think harassers will spontaneously come out about their « habit ». From what I’ve seen, men know very well what abusive behavior is, but will never admit that they are abusive themselves because it would reveal their own weakness. Men are terrified of looking weak.
About my own mistakes, I’ve never been an harasser (I won’t take a no for a yes) but I have abused a woman once because she never told me « no » nor pushed me back. It was years before #MeToo
I didn’t know she was raised as a Mormon, forbidden to say no to a man.
We spend the night and most of the next day together, mostly talking about books and movies but didn’t « make it ». We mostly kissed and I only went down on her during the night. I had absolutely no clue, and learned about my mistake about 2 years later.
I was devastated.
My point is that there’s a lot of work to do. Men and women still have no clue about what’s the right thing to do.
Keep going. And thank you.
Jesus fucking christ, and I though men couldn’t find more disgusting ways to centre themselves…
There is a lot of work to do - star with yourself, and don’t go around claiming to be a feminist, because you’re not.
Alright. I took time to read your other reactions, and I don’t understand why you would react like this to my own testimony.
Sorry if I wasn’t clear enough. When I said I only met 2 harassers in my life, I didn’t mean there wasn’t many. I meant they are good at hiding. My own brother looks like an angel, and you wouldn’t tell by seeing him in public, but he acts like a fucking monster the moment a woman is involved. I discovered the true face of my former Texan friend years after we met.
My other and very personal point was to show that not every women are even able to say no. Patriarchy is not just men telling women what they can or can’t do. It’s also a voice deep in women head that need to be shut. Those are not my words, and I would have found difficult to believe that some women could accept to spend two days straight chilling with a man they don’t even like AND who just abused them if I didn’t experience it myself. That part was for the men who were reading. That was a word of caution to the men, because men need to be educated.
I thought my own experience could be insightful, and I am sorry if I hurt you in any way.
EDIT I am beginning to think I misspoke the word harasser for another, more dangerous kind of men. Violent jealous stalker is more akin to what I meant