Fuck, I’m cis-het guy and I hadn’t really thought about it until #MeToo, but MeToo.

Hanging out with my girlfriend, her friends & my wife and one of the guy friends grabbed my junk and said that “you have a nice package”. I moved away from him, but otherwise, the night just continued as it had been and I went on with my life.

There have been a few other instances, sometimes with men, sometimes with women, but, fuck if that isn’t a shitty realization to have come to.

Once, to show her daily experience, my gf at the time (now wife) had me walk far enough in front of her that we didn’t appear together, but not so far I wouldn’t be able to hear. The amount of catcalls when walking down a city street while dressed non-provactively was fucking ridiculous (it would still be ridiculous if she were ‘dressed to impress’ to be fair, but I’m trying to illustrate that she wasn’t dressed in any way that could ‘generously’ be interpreted as ‘asking for the attention’). I hadn’t not believed her before, but seeing it myself was eye opening and made me realize I need to not be in a bubble when I’m out and about.

Anyone who identifies as a guy and says “I’ve never seen someone getting harassed” … open your eyes and ears as you walk through the world and see if that’s actually true or if you just didn’t pay enough attention to notice it.
Ask basically any woman you know if they’ve ever gotten catcalled or had their ass grabbed in public or at what age men in their 40s started sexualizing them; if you have a close enough relationship, I can almost guarantee that they’ll say ‘yes’ to the first couple and 12-14ish for the last one – and those are direct questions rather than “have you been harassed” which might be more open to self-deception.

Everyone knows it’s not ALL men, but I have to imagine that it feels close-a-fucking-nough when you’re getting harassed on what feels like a constant basis.