Hey, Nineties kids! As we’re all getting older, our beloved Furbies are as well: Thousands and thousands of Furbies are now approaching menopause, and it’s affecting everyone around them.

“I’ve owned and sold over a hundred Furbies since they launched in 1998,” says Miranda Collins, a toy collector. “And nearly all of them have grown moody, erratic, and depressed in the past year or two, signaling a massive change in their body that will hopefully subside soon.”

Wow! Those furry little creatures sure have grown up – and are slowly losing their reproductive capacity! Several other collectors have noticed a change among their Furbies, including night sweats, hot flashes, and a reduced sex drive. “We don’t really know when this will be over,” added Miranda. “But we definitely will all breathe a sigh of relief when it finally is. Several of my Furbies just won’t stop crying.” This news sure left us Millennials fumbling for our calcium supplements!


  • @Chriszz
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    351 year ago

    I was very confused on what the hell this was about until I saw the sub

    • gabe [he/him]
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      161 year ago

      I thought I was witnessing some sort of next level shitpost that I couldn’t comprehend

      • @Chriszz
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        61 year ago

        Exactly. On that note, theonion would make surreal tier shitposts, more so than they do already in a sense