I am a Millennial woman. For most of my life, my closest friends have been men. I believe this is because many of my hobbies are considered traditionally male (such as contact sports or history). I also studied in STEM and have prioritized my career over finding a partner whereas most of the women in my area tend to stay in the city for most of their life (go to school, work, marry, have kids, etc.). So, I fully acknowledge that a large part of my problem is my own fault.

I’ve found that even if I reach out to female friends, they don’t respond back or reach out to me so whatever relationship there is fizzles out.

Is there something I am doing wrong? Are there topics which women commonly discuss which I could learn about so I can contribute more to conversations?

Personally my hypothesis is that the women I meet are close with the friends in their area so they don’t need to maintain friendships with women they aren’t close with (literally or figuratively) whereas my male friends have largely moved for work and perhaps since we’re all lonely, we make more of an effort to stay in touch even though we’re in different parts of the world. The solution I can think of is to stop moving around so often and stay in one place.

I really do crave friendships with women and would love someone to do Pilates with, discuss fashion or go shopping, go for brunch with, or any other activity which I do with my male friends (sports, museums, etc.). I just can’t seem to get a message back.

Thanks in advance for any tips/advice.

  • @[email protected]
    5•1 year ago

    As a man that preferred art and books to sports and locketroom talk, finding male friends was difficult, so most of my close friends were women. I say don’t worry about trying to make same gender friends, unless you actually want to

    • @Pat12OP
      2•1 year ago

      I say don’t worry about trying to make same gender friends, unless you actually want to

      I’d agree with this but it’s hard to explain to a potential romantic partner why you seemingly have no friends of the same gender. It can be a red flag.

        • @Pat12OP
          3•1 year ago

          one’s character. If you don’t have friends of a given gender, it implies you somehow can’t get along with them and that’s not typical.

      • @[email protected]
        1•1 year ago

        I’d agree with this but it’s hard to explain to a potential romantic partner why you seemingly have no friends of the same gender.

        why are people so judgemental about this? especially at this age and in these times. like oh no, a 30-something who doesn’t have a bustling social life, how unusual and certainly worthy of scorn and not compassion or understanding. do people actually view their potential partners like this?