or maybe some other terminology would be better? lots of people get confused when you ask them to choose an instance, sometimes I think even the word “proxy”, “host”, or “hub” is simpler
the specific terms aren’t my point, just a discussion to see if we can come up with a better name
if we wanted to keep the word instance then yea “default instance” isn’t bad, or maybe “home instance”
“Home instance” is the terminology I use.
Matrix use the term of “homeserver” too