We never know the number of undiagnosed, many may be just capable of pretending but suffering.

  • @Drivebyhaiku
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    21 year ago

    Often the " bragging about how normal they are" isn’t the way that shakes out. I am thinking more specifically about people who throw tantrums about being called “cis” or “hetero” or “allistic” or even “allosexual” . To a lot of these people they refuse to have any label applied because they figure they should just be assumed the normal and the default and no word should exist that describes their state. To them any descriptive labels are just for “deviations” and being treated on the same footing as a deviation even a little is a threat to the supremacy of normalcy. Often one gets the impression that they want communities of queer or neurotypic people to internally refer to them as “regular people” not so much “normies” as they would probably find that derogatory as well.

    Neurodivergence used as an excuse not to improve is just shitty behaviour. For a lot of us knowing our type of Neurodivergence can open doors to figuring out learning styles or work arounds when the something that should work but doesn’t. On the other hand sometimes someone will try to force something that provably has never worked for you and not have a lot of empathy when you try and warn them that what they are trying to do has a history of not shaking out for you like they expect it will. It’s a two way street. Knowledge of your personal weaknesses and workarounds can be frustrating for other people who see it feom the outside as you not doing what they want because of lack of gumption and willingness to “try” when really you are just very tired trying to do this something for other people have recommended over and over and have developed a boundary to explain that for you it’s a fool’s errand to try again. To the other person they have never seen all the attempts you have made before doing it their way so to them it just looks like lazy.

    • @cricket97
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      01 year ago

      I am thinking more specifically about people who throw tantrums about being called “cis” or “hetero” or “allistic” or even “allosexual” .

      You mean people on reddit and twitter? Don’t take their opinions too seriously. Some women don’t like being called cis women, as they feel its a deliberate attempt to redefine what a women is (which to be honest, it kind of is). I have never heard of anyone being called allosexual, nevertheless getting upset about it.

      • @Drivebyhaiku
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        21 year ago

        Yeah… I wish I could have that ignorance but trust me. These people exist out in the world and while they are more prevalent in some places than others they use that policing of language and the sort of “normalcy privilege” as a weapon. Take my hometown, right now there is a concerted effort by these people to influence the school board and town council decorum insisting the labels cis/hetero/allosexual and allistic should be treated as slurs and make their usage an offence for which one can be ejected from chambers or have their jobs threatened.

        I know a lot of people in my community who have been challenged, even yelled at in public, in person by these people because they were overhead them using cis / het to describe either themselves or others in a private conversation that these people picked up on.

        What these movements do is enforce a double standard on queer communities. There is a concerted effort to rob us of the language to refer to other states of being other than ours in ways that are judgement neutral. This often causes queer friendly scholarship to have to mince through ridiculous hoops making it much more difficult to sussinctly explain concepts which otherwise become much more arcane without the ability to use adjectives.

        Trying to talk to these “cis is a slur” people it becomes very clear that they do not think there should be a word for them. Their existence is assumed correct, unremarkable and beyond the ability to comment on. Our existence however is controversial and thus deserves a derivative label.