• @SuckMyWang
    link
    42
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    One time I was trying to feed some chimps a banana at the zoo and I fell in the enclosure. Luckily I still had the banana so I tried to bargain with the chimps. Unfortunately it was mating season and they weren’t having any of it. The largest chimp gestured that he wanted me to eat the banana, emphasising to do it slowly. As I began to peel the banana I heard a gunshot. Luckily the zookeepers were just in time to rescue me and they got me out of the enclosure. Unfortunately they weren’t happy and told me I had broken the rules so they were going to take me to the police. Luckily one of the gorillas had just died so they offered to let me work at the zoo in a gorilla suit until they could figure out what to do about the dead gorilla. I agreed, put on the gorilla suit and went into the enclosure. Unfortunately there were 3 females in there too and they knew straight away I wasn’t a gorilla. Luckily one of them knew sign language and we managed to come to an agreement where they would help me escape in exchange for some favours. Unfortunately it was mating season for them as well. Long story short is it was all a very close call but I made it out

      • swab148
        link
        fedilink
        1511 months ago

        I think it just ends in that dude getting some gorillussy

          • swab148
            link
            fedilink
            911 months ago

            Well if you insist. When I was young my family and I went to the zoo, as well, and boy did we have a doozy. A giraffe licked my sister’s hand, the chimpanzees were in full swing, and we saw one lemur give another lemur a blow job.

            This was unfortunately in the age before smartphones, and my parents took us away before I could snap a pic with the digital camera I had.