spoiler
Ive kinda considered quiet quitting mg transition, I feel like few take it serrious, and my friends that do it feels like they are just being nice to me cause they feel bad that my dreams just are not possible. At this point ive kinds reached the idea that I’ll just boymode forever and hope they silently change my ID back to male so I can just go back into the closet while still on HRT since its so far in the past 2 years made virtually zero difference for me. I dont wanna get off hrt but at the same time, I know I’ll never be seen my general population as a women. I just feel like its too late since I started at 200+ lbs and fat couldn’t redistirube properly so ive permently missed out of stuff like hips and more femine views. Someone here acually said I didn’t look a day over 35, I’m 22. I just feel like being in the closet and just looking like a nobody dude, who avoids talking to people is the best course of action. If I’m lucky the second hand smoke I grew up with will kill me when I’m 40.
You cope by not basing your sense of self on your appearance.
You are depressed. “If I’m lucky the second hand smoke I grew up with will kill me when I’m 40” is not the sort of thing someone in a sound state of mind would ever say. I don’t know you, I don’t know your situation, I can’t really offer any practical advice on this point. But you need to sort out your mind using the resources that are available to you. That should be your top priory. Redistributing your fat is something that will take time and dedicated effort, and you are in no state to do that now if you’re as depressed as you sound. Take care of yourself.
You should look into hair care. Your hair is wavy, and wavy hair requires some pretty specific care to make it look great. You should look into that. Improving your hair care routines will give you a significant improvement to your appearance with very little time investment.
I doubt ill ever look remotely enough decent to realive my dystphoia I legit look what consertives think a trans person looks like, IM A THREAT.
Why do you care what they think?
I just wanna look like a women and not get the “we are treating you nicely but their is a visible unconferable vibe in the room” when I’m “girl” moding
So, what do you intend to do about it?